well said...SATELLITE

Listen: Satellite "ring the bells"

"We'll ring the bells that lead you home


Cause the only truth I've ever known

Is that nothing ever hurts us more than love

So circle up your best friends

And we'll celebrate the way it ends

At least we live tonight

At least we live tonight"-  Satellite- "ring the bells"



May tonight change your life..., for the better.
God has a dream!
and you're part of it.

the kingdom belongs to these...

"and I become a child when she moves my world"- Damien Rice
 
Yesterday was one of those days.  I have recently been reminded (it is hard when you no longer work with them) that child-like elements are some of the best parts of living and we should always allow for these feelings and care free elements to be in our lives.  Experiencing a beloved summer place with an amazing brother and allowing for all the memories and flood of emotion and change to arise made me feel as though I was simultaneously eleven again while also being well beyond my years.  Its kind of like making a movie of the clouds passing by and then fast forwarding it.  Life moves, yet what happens lingers. 
  Sebago lake Maine is and will continue to be one of my favorite places in all of new England.  Point Sebago campground, Frye Island, and Jordan Bay, all painting a beautiful portrait of so many youthful lessons and experiences.  I grew and learned so much there and when I sit down next week for thanksgiving dinner with my family I will share the same abundant excitement and bubbling enthusiasm as I shared with my friend who accompanied me and the girl at Subway who just wanted me to stop talking and order my sandwich.
  I am twenty-three years old.  I have graduated college and am slowly entering the "real world" and becoming an independent adult.  Life is moving.  Yet it is the places, like Sebago lake, that remind me what is important and what is worthwhile to spend my time on.  I encourage anyone to make it a point to visit a place of your childhood, maybe even with a friend or lover.  who knows, it might be just what you need, it may even change the current course of your life altogether.  Maybe the goal of growing older is not to move beyond our childhood, but to move "in" it.  To allow for the experiences, for better or worse, to move and mold us into the individuals we Hope to be and that we already are.




song:
Damien Rice- "dogs"

Permission to Love

I Love To write Love on her arms and similar organizations, like Music Saves and the One campaign.  It seems as though, although this adds good and bad aspects to charities, charity and doing good things have meshed with pop culture to raise awareness and increase the desire to do good.  Young people are always at the forefront of breakthroughs big movements regarding peace and change.  With the ease of communication, this has never been easier to voice our opinion and join up with a cause.
  However, in working with college students and other young people (and being one myself) it all comes back to Love.  "Love is all we need", go figure right.  No really.  The thing that nobody tells you, is that its hard.  Damn hard.  For some, its near impossible. 
  But as young people, we experience so very much.  This is a world of influences; peer pressures, media pressures, family pressure, significant other stress, and, of course, in the world of higher education, information overload.  Yet life seems to be a little more simple when you take a step back from it all.  These influences, although many are actually quite good, can be at best time consuming, at worst, they can absolutely rule our lives.  It is easy to get overwhelmed by it all.  It is, perhaps, even easier to just throw in the towel.  Life, love, happiness and all that.  Right.
  We become so inundated with all that's happening that we forget why it is we are actually roaming this blue and green expanse.  Bogged down by the "weight of the world".  So confused about what to think and who we actually are that are opinions and views are no longer our own.  We feel like we need to wait on others to act so we can come up with an appropriate reaction.  It's as if nothing we do seems quite right.

 Well, it is not.  The world has been turned upside down; many times over.  The economies, the environment, the disasters, the wars; the oppression.

I can confidently say, most of us have it easy in America.  Yet the hurt and affliction we experience are still present.  Sure, we don't have disease epidemics so much or guerrilla warfare in our streets, but we have are not without.  Our pain just takes on a different name.  For young people, it is depression, despair and loneliness that seem to be our biggest issues.  In a time where communication is at a surplus, we are feeling more alone than ever.  Call it what you will,we are oppressed.  The oppressed are held captive. Although we are not so much held captive (depending on how you look at it) we are still in need of an escape; we need to be freed; we need a command; its as if we need permission.

Although there is always more to the story, I believe it can all be summed up by allowing ourselves and others the permission to Love.

Tell some one you love or even somebody you barely know, Tell them its ok to love.  To them to go ahead.  It may seem strange at first, but imagine if we all felt it?  If we all knew it?  If we all lived it?

Taking stock, counting blessings

"Hope for a better, November"- Jimmy Eat World

Dear friends, its time to stop and smell the, ugh, dying leaves and dried grass of another summer come and gone and a fall into the new year that is coming.  Autumn.  Fall.  Here we are, we are here.
How is your life?
Where is your heart?
What new dreams have you dreamt?
Where in the world are you?
Do you believe?
WHat can you do to get there?
What do you need to let go of?
Have you given your best?


"Not all who wander are lost"- JRR Tolkien
listen:
jimmy eat world- "futures"

"Will you're name be recorded?"

learning how to wait... (the Almost)

I have had the opportunity to listen as of late.  To listen instead of speak, and let me tell you, this is hard.  To everyone who knows me, I am a person who loves good conversation and to prove a point.  But, as the bible so often reminds me, this life is not about me.  I have felt very anxious and impatient as i start a new season of life.  It has been as if all the world and all the experiences, thoughts and emotions that have gone into my life, have hit a standstill; a dead end; a writer's block, an ellipses. 
But,
this is a lie.
I had the opportunity to join a few older men at Panera Bread recently after work.  My friend and mentor Benny was kind enough to buy me a salad and a coffee (no money) and allow me to "meet" with some friends in what was quickly becoming a weekly event.  During the time I spent there (a little less than an hour) I got the opportunity to learn a great deal.  These men had all been through the age and time period of my life I was currently in, not only that, but lo and behold, they had survived and were living great stories.  Everyone present spoke to my life and my heart, but it was the man across from me, Wayne, whose words really pierced my young and stubborn mind.
  After re-enforcing what I had learned all summer (that we cannot save/please/protect/teach EVERYONE we encounter) and sharing a bit of his background, he proceeded to explain the "meaning" behind his work, which has been with the Postal Service for 32 years.  But, as you might imagine, we did not talk about mail or packages.  He really got my attention when he spoke these words very firmly,
"Will you're name be remembered in the history books?"
I thought at first he was making some sort of theological or philosophical point, but he was dead serious. 
"How about you?"
Everyone around the table said no, and he promptly continued to explain that his name is recorded in Washington D.C. int he national archives as he was the post master of two towns for a good deal of those 32 years.  He told this story, not out of pride, but out of the fact that his story mattered.  His seemingly simple job was important.  Well beyond a name being recorded, he got to supervise, to watch over others.  To serve them in a multitude of ways, above and WAY beyond the standard postmaster.  He was a friend, a counselor, a mentor, a nurse, an aide, a shoulder, a friend.  He had truly made the most of his profession and used it for the will of the one who sent him.  You see, Wayne studied guidance and counseling in grad school and even had his own practice for over two years.  But it was not in an office or school where he most used his acquired skill and his heart for service, but rather in delivering mail and supervising mailmen.
  I finished my first statement by saying " this is a lie".  It's so true.  I have put so much pressure on myself to live and love and serve, serve, serve; that I have forgotten why I serve.  That I have let anxiety and worry overcome "doing".  That I have let stress de-rail my train and that I have only "felt God" when I actually let go and let the truth and beauty held within the flesh that I am shine forth.  Actually let go.
But worst of all, I have not even comprehended the blessings that have come my way over the past month.  Namely that I have a new job and a renewed chance at Love.
and for that,
I am truly sorry,
yet so overflowing with Hope.
What am I going to be?  Who can I help?  Will my name be recorded in history?

It is time to take my own advice,
It's time to "Let go and Let Love"

listen:
Sleeping at Last "Next to me"

Between the Trees- EmoPopSmilingPurpose- Do rock out!!!

So every now and (actually everyday) a band hits me and is a big part of my day.  Bands (and signers) make music and therefore carry the melodies and messages of beauty and truth to our ears.  Between the Trees is one of those bands.  They are very near and dear to my heart and although they are officially coming to an end as a complete band, their story and their place in mine and others lives has been firmly planted.

  I had the opportunity to see one of my favorite bands over the winter break from college.  This band was anberlin and the concert was during a very confusing and vulnerable time in my life.  Yet it was not anberlin, or even the great shared experience with my best Friend Evan (and his first modern rock concert), but the opening band that really stood out that evening.  This was where i first met Between the Trees. 

(Wes, courtesy of Flicker)

  After buying there album and heading home with Evan, I quickly found the song I had been dying to hear again ever since the performance.  After dropping off Evan and carrying the post concert high (you know what I mean) complete with buzzing ears, I proceeded to rock out to BTT in the car and  fight off sleep with their poppy guitar riffs and deep words.  Once again, Between the Trees and I met at the right time.  I was so stoaked, i decided to swing off the highway to our local Morning Star Christian book and music store (please support this small chain!!!) and say some late night prayers in the parking lot. 
  After hearing about BTT discontinuing their musical pursuits, I didn't feel a bit of remorse.  I know they are awesome guys and will be off to do many cool things, music related or not.  I think the reason I was not so bummed was because of their lasting impact, and their involvement in my favorite charity, To Write Love on Her Arms.  As a matter of fact, two of their first albums songs are dedicated/inspired by Renee Yohe- video:
Between the Trees and Renee Yohe talk--
  The more I go on in this adventure of life and love, I learn about the importance of story.  BTT's first album, "A story and the song" is all about that.  Renee's story was a big part of that album.  But they also played a big part in my story and I'm sure many of the other fans they touched over the last few years.  This was a band that always wanted to leave an impression of Hope and purpose with everything they did, in a genre of music often known for songs of bad break-ups and utter loneliness.  BTT is a band that will forever live on, and the Love and Hope that drives them is going to propel them into beautiful things for a long time to come.  THANK YOU! 
and
GOD BLESS!

song from first album, "The story and the song" "its not the intimacy that brings me closer to you..."
"Red lines and white lights"
song from second album, "Spain" "i know, things aren't quite like what they used to be, yeah..."
"We can try"

transition: mntn life

"Love will tell us the rest of what we need to know, soon"- Rumi 

So i have reached a very new season in my life.  After working very hard this summer with the NOST after school/summer camp program and taking a break from bike riding, I have moved on to a new adventure.  The job is new, the adventure is a bit of a returning.  I will be working part-time (hopefully full time soon!) with Eastern Mountain Sports and continuing to guard the night as the NLI nightwatchman.  Working at EMS has re-opened many doors in terms of outdoor adventure and racing, and I am very hopeful about competing and SHARING adventures this coming year.  After all, life is not about me; but then again, God knows our hearts and the things in life we love, the elements and purpose in all we do.  Our passions are not just things, but they also help us write the story of who we are.  They tell us what we really want and what matters most- 

I Hope whatever season you are in, or if things are changing quickly and you don't really understand why, that you can hang on for the ride and know it will all make sense soon.   

Post script: Whenever I write the word "Hope" i try to capitalize it.  I know that you are only supposed to capitalize proper nouns and such, but i believe Hope is a special word.  Maybe the most special of them all.  Hope is a feeling, Hope is a smile, Hope is an inspiration, Hope is a movement: Hope is real.  Check out Romans 5:5 for further details...

 listen:
 Switchfoot (Jon Foreman)- "thrive"

talk to me

So much of our humanity's ability to get along and co-exist relies upon the simple passing of messages from one to another.  Communication.  Language.  Message.  These things are used everyday, by every person in the world.  There are many differences of course, many dialects and tongues, cultures and styles of communicating.  Yet there is a sudden, or rather recent shift in communication.  Yet this is not related to any of the pre-existing differences but rather a new age.  Social networks and the mobility of communicating.

  Its getting bad.  A few days ago I went for a run at dusk and also the folowing morning as I had to work all day.  As I was heading out of town that evening, I ran by a woman riding a bicycle, by herself, and I could hear her talking rather loud.  As I got closer and we passed one another I realizaed one hand was on the handlebars, the other on a cell phone and she was carrying on a conversation while pedaling up hill.  The following morning I was running on a dirt road about 2 miles from any populated housing and I spotted another woman (what I thought at first was an animal) and she was sitting by the edge of the road, no houses and sight, alone, talking on her phone.
  Now at the risk of judegement I would like to comment on what I think was the same woman.  I have run through all the scenarios and I still cant believe you would be talking on the phone, in the middle of engaging in another activity, especially as dangerous as bike riding can be.  Seriously.  Even if their best friend or soul mate was on the other end of the line, and they were very sick or something serious, why would you be engaging in other activities while trying to talk to them?
  I believe we have settled.  We, as a progressive culture of young people in an emerging world have settled for lackluster communication and poor connections.  This leads to misunderstandings, hurt feeling, lack of focus, and a completely scattered social scene.  I have come to believe that if somebody really wants to communicate with me they will tell me whats on their mind.  Instead, we often times just do it with a text, or a short internet message that may not even be received for some time. 
  They call it rude when you don't pay attention to someone.  Even careless.  We owe it to ourselves to speak the truth and take the time.  Is that not what you would want from somebody?  Want to plan a trip or make time to hang-out with someone?  Call them.  Have a serious topic to discuss?  Sit down for a cup of coffee.  I know your busy.  Who isn't?  It's worth it, it's important, it must come back.
  I really appreciate my Buddhist brothers and sisters.  They truly take the time to slow down, to connect.  In America, everything moves, fast.  Always has, always will.  It is up to us to connect with one another, on a real level, on a level where we understand eachother, where we know where the other person is coming from.  Our fate as a nation and our Hope of belonging and understanding in a world of so many different types of people relies on this communication.  Lets not settle for second rate.  Let's give our full attention to one another (as best we can) and Hope that, although we may never be able to fully embrace and co-exist, that we can, "not agree, but proclaim love; and communication."- Mae
After all, that is what this blog is about.  Its about taking the time to connect with one another and sharing daily life, good, bad, REAL.  The only reason it is daring is because we don't do it so much anymore.
listen:
anberlin- "Impossible" (acoustic)

Rescued and speechless

listen:
the Almost- "dirty and left out"





Redemption is different from reconciliation or forgiveness even.  Redemption is a building up, whereas forgiveness is most often a plugging the hole in the dam and hoping it will hold.  We often get caught up in what others think and what they will think if we do something or make a certain statement or action.  Yet it is not the act of forgiving, although this is nothing short of an amazing feat in itself, but the redemption that comes later, where we find the truest beauty in the frail human heart.
  Take for example the story of the prodigal son.  He probably doesn't feel that great telling his father all the things that had happened and especially not in the fact that he had already come to the conclusion (in his mind) that he would be lucky to sleep and work with the servants.  Yet we all know that his fate is sealed in his Father's love, the complete and unconditional love that accepts with open arms and leads to redemption.  I cannot imagine somebody being received in such a way and actually having the attitude or sickness to go back to the evil they had vacated.
  All this to say, although there are great amounts of pain in this life, when it comes to redemption, when it comes to light breaking through, when it comes to relationships being restored, it is all possible.  But we have to see it through.  I am so very thankful that redemption is a reality.  That we can bust out the other side, not just better, but wiser and more hopeful.
   Redemption can mean deliverance; but it can also mean rescue.  I cannot even begin to count the ways I have been redeemed and rescued over my relatively short life and this is available to all.  So why doesn't everyone feel redeemed?  If its available to everyone, what does it matter?

Because not everyone has been given the chance, and not everyone has been redeemed.  There are many situations in my own life where I have not felt redemption or even forgiveness, yet I can still find peace somewhere in between the Hopes and the brokenness.  Even though the redemption may never come, I take great comfort in knowing it exists, and no matter how messed up the situation is, deliverance is always possible.

Would that we would all find redemption, that when we offer "deliverance" and "atonement" that we would follow our words with a quiet prayer or a silent praise.

This is life; and redemption is a reality we all need,   
and,
I; rather WE, are never too far gone.

feeling ok

Listen:
anberlin- "Down"

As a young man, I still think I can change the world.  I am fired up, here and there, about the social and political ills of the world, and am quick to rush to the side of the oppressed and open my mouth to speak about how things should be better.  But one thing they forget to tell you in the inspiring books and amazing stories of world changing people, is that when you actually are in it, when you are in the midst of a mission or a charity; almost all the luster is gone and it is just plain hard (hence the reason others have either tried and failed, or just given up completely). 
  I had to tell my Boss I got a new job and would be leaving in two weeks.  I waited the whole afternoon to tell her and the anticipation was really awful.  But as I spoke words of ending, I was greeted with even greater words of what was to come.  "Sad for us, but happy for you" and then of course, on the walk out to the parking lot, a beautiful and full double rainbow.  Any reservations, any regrets?
  I believe we are our own worst enemies.  Sure our parents, significant others, professors, and mentors can add to the dynamics and pressure of an already wild and crazy world, yet usually our worst and most intense critic is the one that stares you in the mirror.  As I smiled at the sights and sounds of the early evening, and was so thankful to have such a comforting and understanding boss, I felt like God was saying well done.  That's not to say that I did a perfect job or even that I won't be back to try again, but it was a special feeling going home that day.
  I think it was so special because, beyond the natural beauty, i came to the stark yet simple realization that this is not about me at all.  I saw a friend in the store yesterday, a humble and Wise man, and after explaining the story to him, he simply said, "I think that's what we are called to do".  Meaning the little things add up.  They matter.  So instead of focusing on what "I" can do for this place, for that situation (key word being "I"), the focus should rather be what can happen if we let go, and let Love.  What could happen if we let the presence of Hope and Truth, that which dwells in all who believe, lead the way in this dance of life?  I may not have seen the impact of "my" works and actions, but that is no matter; just being in a place and believing and Hoping in and for those people present makes everything worth it.
At the end of the day we are all lost causes, trying to walk the road home.  Can it be OK? Can we change the world? 

Can we go together?

stay close: Light IS a place

As many of you know I have a favorite band.  That favorite band just put out an album.  It has thirteen songs and is their fifth full length album.  It is their first on a Major record label and many would expect the "best yet".  Well, I have not stopped listening since it was released and have delved into the meaning and lyrics of each song.  Yet, this album is not my favorite and is maybe the most different from all the previous records that have culminated into the sound, whether acoustic or full fledged rock, that fans have come to expect from anberlin. 
  That's not to say that I don't love the new album, I do.  Yet it is definately different.  Personally, I really love the sound, but i think the lyrics could be a little more complex, a little more meaningful.  Then again, sometimes simple words make the most impact (see: "I have a dream" or "come home").  Truth be told, anberlin is my favorite band.  And even though this new album may not be my favorite of theirs, if I truly love the band I have to really give this record a chance.  I think giving things a chance this day and age, hearing them out so to speak, even our favorite things, can be seen as a burden or even uneccessary all together.  Now this notion is not limited to music.
  So many people are quick to write off a new record, or a new song for that matter.  Sometimes people hate the change, other times they go with the simple, "well, I just liked the old stuff better."  Our relationships can be like that too.  Not just romantic, but friends and family too.  With the rate at which life changes, with the way people's status's change so quickly, it is easy to write them off or forget them altogether.  But that is not the right choice.
  Granted, people change; tastes in music change; life leads us down different roads, some for better, some for worse.  But we have to give it a try.  Our lives and the people in them are so important, so significant.  We can't just give it the ghost because we feel a bit different, we can't let our friend (or out favorite band) go because they are suddenly too popular, we can't let Love pass us by because we're scared of what "could happen"-
  Real commitment and pursuit of true connection is really lacking in our culture, even in our world at large.  It is up to the next generation to bring it back.  To look beyond the latest and greatest and seek truth and consistency; to be dedicated.  There is something to be said about a loyal fan.  There is even more to be said of a true friend; about a steadfast lover.
  We would be well served and even better pursued by such hearts.
That's the kind of fan i'd want to have,
That's the kind of community I am blessed to be in,
That's the kind of place that is Light many times over.


Listen:
Corey Asbury- "everything you do"

what we deserve (LOVE)

While running today I stumbled upon the thought and idea of deserving.  People often say things like "you deserve this" or "he doesn't deserve that"!  But where is it we are actually starting from?  What do we really deserve?
  I think we have to start from the fact that we have a lot.  If you are reading this, chances are you have internet and a working computer.  You probably have a roof over your head and maybe even a chance to pursue education, a place to put your stuff.  Even these couple items are more than many in this world will ever have.  Yet in America we think we deserve so much.  We think we are entitled to all things under the sun.  "Life, liberty and the pursuit right?
  Well I have worked hard for a lot of different elements of life, in a lot of different ways.  Yet the things that really excite me, the parts of life that I have desired most, even deserved, have not come to pass.  So why can't we have what we deserve?  Why can't I ever reach the place where that deserving is met?
  Well for me, i think it all comes back to Love.  Then again, doesn't it always?  Love is the core of life, the true mission of the human heart.  As a Christian, i believe God loves me, as does his son Jesus.  That said, we enter into a whole new area of deserving here.  For all I've done, all i've sacrificed, all I've fallen short, all I've messed up; I still don't deserve this kind of love.  Love that is real, love that is true, love that is infinite.  Even the most righteous and selfless people in this life still don't deserve the love that never fails.  Yet we are told, yet we have seen, that we are all granted this very love.
Christ doesn't care about your mess,
and
God doesn't keep score,
and
when you think of it this way, you suddenly feel a little smaller, and a little less deserving.  We are given the rights of this country, to pursue, to be free, to be alive- yet these are not rights at all, but gifts.  We truly are miracles, each one of us, in a place where all the nations of the world can be found, and can pursue those very gifts.  Freely, openly, truly- WE have to get to the place where we realize we don't deserve nearly anything, yet we are given so much.

You know that expression, "all the best things in life are free"
If that is indeed true, and I believe it to be so, do we deserve even these?  YES

That everyone may Love and be Loved, that all people would feel as though they have a place, as if they matter.
Because they do,
and we do too,
and,
YOU deserve to know.

listen: 
Shane & Shane- "the answer"

You're here with me (take me as you found me)

A good friend and wise man stopped by the nightwatchman post today.  Besides marveling at the view, the trail mix debris, the extravagant artwork (Andy and Lauren), and the beautifully decorated note card envelopes, he told me a little story from his life.  I would like to share a bit of it:
We were musing over love and relationships with young people (these days) and after grinning and chuckling he shared that when he was a young man, he was interested in deep and profound conversation with his (now wife) girlfriend at the time, and how during this one dining occasion they were not really talking,
and he took notice,
and instead of panicking,
or pushing conversation,
he loved it, every second.
Maybe it was in the simple presence that he really saw her, maybe he was overanxious.  Either way, she was there, and he was also there, and that in and of itself was a beautiful thing, a love confirming correspondence.

See Love, romantic love in its purest form, is found and formed in all the feelings and butterflies, late night phone calls, and long drives in the pouring rain.  However, it is confirmed in the jokes, in the down time, in the mundane, in the seemingly insignificant.  Not only that, but love is what we are all striving for.  It is the answer.  "It is the final fight"(John Perkins) 
Obviously we should not be so infatuated with everyone as we are to be with our spouse or even boyfriend/girlfriend, but this is a great place to learn the ins and outs of love and turn them externally, sharing them with the world.  We should not be so infatuated with everyone, yet somehow God is.  And he left us with this simple command.  Love me; and love one another.  He even gave us an analogy:  When He comes back, we shall be like a bride, and HE, the bridegroom. 

Is not romance in every bit of our lives?  Is it not the answer to how we should think of our neighbor, how we should dream of our futures?

Want to fall in Love?
That is not the question: love is present, has been since the start.
Rather the question is:

Want to see the world change?

Fall in Love

the details of this life are breathtaking
and
The lights and sounds call us closer
and
the Hope of the universe rests on us seeing it so 

Fall in Love



listen: (out Tuesday)
Anberlin album preview

Love is found in the returning

Let your heart be ignited

sister(s)

I said Sister, here is what I know now
Here is what I know now
Goes like this..
In your love, my salvation lies
In your love, my salvation lies
In your love, my salvation lies
In your love, in your love, in your love"
-ALEXI MURDOCH
 
There are certain points in our lives where we feel old, or just older, as if our biological age was not a reality and all the people around us would stay the same age forever.  There are certain milestones, regarding age, where you just go, "whew" and wonder where you had been for all the time leading up to this said milestone.  One of those is for your little sister to go off to college. 
  Even though I just graduated college, I still haven't felt like my sister is getting much older.  I must be careful here, that is, not to say that she hasn't matured and showed signs of moving into a new phase of life, but sometimes you spend so much time watching the snowflakes, you end up confused by the new foot of fresh powder under your foot.  There have been two main experiences that have really allowed me to realize my sister's age, and also get excited knowing she is ready for the new challenge of college.  The first was her singing in a musical with her school (i had never even heard her sing, no joke) and the second was her going out to Kansas City for the Skills USA competition (yeah bronze medal!).  These experiences, along with many others, are aligning her up with a beautiful end to the chapter that is high school and I Hope she is as thrilled for WSC, as she has come so far,  and with so much good and beauty to come!
  I also want to share about two other special sisters attempting to move mountains in their new adventures...
First off, my friend and sister for over three quarters of my life is heading off on a world wide missions trip called "World Race" no, not the amazing race.  I will let you read about it here and support her too:
Ash WORLD RACE
I Have known Ashley for a long time, and she is a beautiful image of Hope and truth.  She believes, she works hard and she is SO thrilled to take all of her gifts straight to the peoples around the world who need it most, I cannot wait to hear about and pray for her journey- and the journey of all those helped and helping!
  Finally I have this other sister.  Now she also has a brother, just like Ash and just like my sister and I, but he's a good guy, so I think he'd be OK if I was in the fam.  This girl is also venturing forth into a new land, this time, not in a world race, but to study and learn.  She is going to do great, and Love well, but I can understand why she is nervous.  It just occurred to me how we have such similar hearts!  But fear is not the heart of love, and just as this girl inspires and surprises me every time we get to talk, she will triumph and take in every detail of this beautiful trip.  Remember Jeanne Clark, perfect Love drowns out fear; may it find you well.
  I always wish I had a brother.  I always wished time would stop and we could start it up again when we were ready.  Well, neither of these are an option.  Yet I am one of the happiest and most blessed people in the world, and it is in a large part due to the hearts and Hopes of my sisters, biological or otherwise.

May God guide you on the straight and narrow,
and may the light each one of you share and carry so, so well,
guide you into and over whatever this new season brings.

Love, in Hope and in gratitude,

Bud, B2, Brandon

Listen:
Switchfoot- Hello Hurricane (you CAN'T silence my Love)

small glimpses and a heart of service

For those of you who don't know, I just completed an 8.5 week summer position with Plustime new Hampshire for Americorps.  I have worked at the previously location, but working under the Americorps banner created a twist to an already interesting experience.  Needless to say, this summer has been tough.  I have worked very hard, for very little, it has been tough having many bosses (too much confusion) and add to that the financial strain of working in a professional volunteer position and my own health struggles.  But even as I write this, I feel a sense of thankfulness.  I was given the opportunity to serve and I was able to do this, no matter how bruised and battered at the finish line.
  Some days, of course, were harder than others.  Some days the kids behaved, some days they didn't, still other days it rained, and others we splashed; all day.  That is the natural progression of life, this is the good and the bad, the tough and the true, all around us, in particular, to those places where light doesn't seem to shine quite as much.  The kids I work with have tough many of them.  And to make some impact, what ever it is, is to move a mountain.  To see a smile in days of frowns and downcast eyes, means a lot.  To make a new friend.  Small glimpses.
  I know some friends who have had struggles this summer, haven't we all?  For me the work I did and the struggles I encountered were new and maybe even more difficult then any in the past.  Yet I was reminded of those who are MUCH less fortunate in other countries and I had a multitude of reasons to keep my heart soft.  I thought of the many who are still controlled by corrupt governments and those who work jobs that don't even pay a wage to sustain one person, much less a whole family.  I thought about kids who had to sneak to school and Hope to not get caught in violence or worse.  But mostly I thought of the little things that make life so spectacular, the things that make it worth it.  Sometimes, when we are tired or really taken advantage of, or even in a bout of depression or grief it is nearly impossible to see anything good or worthwhile.  Yet we must, even if it is small. 
  This world is not even, or fair.  Sometimes it doesn't even make sense.  Some work a ten hour day and make $2.  Some people spend their life chasing a goal and right before they reach it, they lose everything to sickness or a thief.  Sometimes we only have one reason, one second during the course of a day with which to crack a smile.  We must not let these moments go to waste!  For where there is one, there can be another also.  Where there is three, why not twelve.  Life is made of of tiny pieces.  Eventually they will come together for good.  Someday, one day, we could live to see a completely different side of life and people.  One day we could spend all our time searching for a reason to not be happy.  Salvation is here, and there is beauty and Hope  in all, if we are just patient enough to find it, or let it find us.   

listen:
John Mark Mcmillan- Death in his grave

Book Review: Love & War

 

To go forward we must first go back.  A Number of months ago John and Stasi Eldredge, some of my favorite Christian authors put out a new book.  It happened to be a marriage book, called Love and War.  I was excited for the book, but quickly realized I was neither married nor did I have the extra funds to be a book to stick on the shelf and read at a time that was more applicable then when I was a single young man with a few part-time jobs.  But low and behold, Ransomed Heart ministries was offering the first 200 copies to those who would review the book on their blog.  I figured, I had a blog, it was worth a shot.  Here is my end of the bargain!
  Although I concluded the book approximately a month and a half ago, I am finally ready to give this review thing a GO.  I am particularly excited to review the book for many reasons, but particularly because I have quoted the book many times over the last few days.  Ever since I finished school, I have had a lot of extra time (normally spent doing homework) thinking about and pondering love and marriage in particular.  It is interesting to first note the title.  This is a marriage book, not a movie title or a lesson in battlefield relationships or a fictional drama; this is a marriage book. Yet the two seemingly contradictory words that make up the title are fitting, as the authors unveil over the course of the book.  This is Love, in the romantic and relational sense, and yet it is a war, a battlefield, a great fight.  Why do we so seldom see it this way?
  I Love the intro to this book.  The intro cuts from an actual wedding ceremony (with John performing the service) to the thoughts and ideas of onlookers and the narration of the authors.  You are immediately captivated and you feel part of the story; and of course, you desire this for yourself, or rather, you enter yourself into the equation with your own "dearly beloved."  I also enjoy how John and Stasi describe things in terms of the epic and extraordinary importance of the stories we all have and share, in this particular example, within the context of marriage.  The story of marriage is that special.
  Each chapter is wittingly titled, speaking on everything from a new roommate, to a shared adventure to, (gulp) even a chapter on sex!  But each chapter does a good job summarizing the themes and presenting proof for said ideas in a Christian sense.  I think the most important aspects covered include spiritual warfare and the importance of couples praying with one another, for these are often topics that are difficult to speak about and even more difficult to apply to couples lives.   
  The final chapter sums up the entire book well, and is aptly titled, "Learning to Love".  This chapter is neat because much of the chapter is applicable to all of life.  Is this not the aim of all? Yet learning to Love in a marriage sense is even more profound and delicate.  The chapter speaks on choices, sacrifice, and forgiveness, and continually refers back to the reason and source for it all; to God.  John and Stasi are so good at using quotes from others (C.S. Lewis and George MacDonald in particular) to bring home their point.  They also include daily prayers on marriage and sexual healing which are particularly important in this capacity.
 The only aspect of this book I did not care for was the details that we're shared.  Sometimes both John and Stasi reveal a little too much in a relation to their own personal experience.  hence the subtitle of "taboo topics".  Some things must be revealed, but the depth of their details may take away from the actual message being presented.  Real world examples are good, but sometimes a little too much just causes a whole lot of confusion for the reader.
  All in all, this is the first marriage book I have read.  But, having read a number of John and Stasi's books, I believe they have a good idea on the subjects they speak and they always remind us of the core of what we are searching for.  In this case, we are looking for Love.
Then again, is that not what we are always seeking?
Love really is a war, yes, even Love in the romantic sense.  But over and over it is confirmed, that it is worth it, and God is for it.  May John and Stasi continue to be great vessels of that Love, of that co-mission-  I just Hope I should be so blessed to have such an opportunity

"It does not come easy.  Falling in Love is how God gives us a push in the right direction.  But then we have to choose...
When we abandon ourselves to Love, we find ourselves closer to the one who is always doing that himself.  We find ourselves closer to God." -John and Stasi Eldredge


Listen:
Brandon Heath- Love never Fails

alex

I was in need of an adventure, in need of a break.
This week offers some alternatives to work (see conference) and a concert with some of my favorite people (and I am not even talking about the bands) before the bump and grind commences on Thursday... and I couldn't be more thrilled at the timing.  Just a couple weeks left for my Americorps post!
So staying local but trying something completely new and intriguing was the theme of today.  After skipping out on Fridays race due to an injury today was meant to be a get away into the woods and some light hiking to limber up and rest my tired body and mind.  Sitting down after the days adventures, "rest" or "light" was no longer in the books as words to capture the day.  But rather the day was summarized by "adventure" and "encounter".  After speed hiking about a quarter of Kearsarge's hidden gem, the Lincoln trail, I spotted another hiker just above me on the ridge, moving slowly but confidently.  Just as I caught up with him, we reached the top of this hill and the trail entered an exposed section with full sunlight. We exchanged greetings and shook hands and i quickly moved forward.  But he was not in the rear-view.  Oh no, rather he was was literally breathing on me and quickly asked if he could get by.  After he moved by I quickened my pace and decided to follow.  The encounter quickly turned to conversation, which led to questions, which further turned to the great tradition of hiker's sharing stories, sharing life;
and Alex, as I later found his name to be,
had stories, upon stories,
adventures, upon adventures.

This man had been places.

Among those mentioned were Warner, NH (of course), Argentina, Peru, Patagonia, Norway, and his current place of work, the Atlantic sea.  That's right, Alex is a lobsterman.  Tried and true, strong and adventurous.
All of a sudden, the quiet Sunday hike turned into something more.
A shared adventure,
a comparing of stories,
a companion for the ride.
After a conversation with another Colby-Sawyer friend at the top (Ricky), it was time to descend;
for myself back down Lincoln, for Alex, down the access road and over off into the dirt of one of NH's many class 6 roads and eventually back to the place where he would spend the night and prepare to go back out on the boat the following day.
This encounter has done more for my spirits and energy then I can even explain,
and it taught me a few important lessons that I believe to be universal to all-
That perhaps it is not about the speed or the distance, but rather the adventure itself,
That perhaps the work we do is only done to earn the means by which to pursue our true passions,
That perhaps each person's story, even our own, has the capacity to be marvelous and exhilarating,
That perhaps each one of us has a mission, a great task, and it likely involves helping another, perhaps some person or group of people that have otherwise been ignored...
 
So as for when we depart our homes in the morning, looking for a break and an adventure,
Let us leave with soft hearts and open minds,
for we never know who we'll meet, but,
you can rest assured,
that the craziness and seemingly random connections and correspondences along the journey of life are somehow weaved together to form extraordinary stories;
Would that we can share these stories often,
and play our part well.

"I watched the changes
(I watched the changes)
through your eyes
like a movie of my life"  

Listen:

As Tall As Lions- "if I'm not out burning bridges, I'm buying more matches"

http://www.gettyimages.com/detail/200283828-001/The-Image-Bank

An old song (She still moves me and dares me to believe)

PLANS- the Track Record

"It's so crazy how suicide occupies the minds of so, so many happy people
Don't lie you know you've thought about it, we all have
Part of growing up is asking questions

Isn't it mad weird how our wildest dreams tell us about our fears and what we want out of this life
Some say that it's healthy to experience breakups, mistakes, letdowns, or the death of a loved one

We owe all that we have to the people in our lives
We can only hope that this song reaches you in time

(Two pairs of eyes share a beautiful silence
Perfect weather breeds perfect smiles
So show me that face when you can't hold back yours
Plans to wake up on the beach
You know how it feels so fucking awesome when a song lets you know that you're not alone
Well these 3 minutes will beckon you too think, dance, live, learn, teach, and love)



So i'll meet you in front of Hagerstown at 10

And we'll live for the single moment
I swear i will hold you
On this bathroom wall forever
I promise not too hold this grudge against you
if you love like you've nothing to lose
I swear i will hold you



We owe all that we have to the people in our lives
We can only hope that this song reaches you in time"

Wherever you are, whatever you're doing, whatever thought is on your mind,
I Hope it finds you well.
More then well,
I Hope it finds you Alive and well-

The purpose of this life is to truly live- -

The Track Record- Plans (to wake up on the beach)

2nd wind

There is no other sporting event I enjoy more then the Tour de France.  The race is epic and challenging to say the least; it is torture at best.  Through picturesque countryside, riders traverse an entire country in 21 days of racing all by the power of their own two legs.  Wow cannot begin to describe it!

For such a race, there are great stories.  Each day is filled with triumphs, overcoming, Hope and heartbreak.  Similar to the recent soccer world cup, there are rrepresentatives from all over the world.  It is beyond category!
My favorite stories are the ones of courage and passion, or, as the Italians call it, panache!  The days where a rider breaks away from the pack all day and wins the day in front of his compatriots or when a rider finishes the race despite a crash that would put most in the hospital for a month.  The stories of true grit, and never giving up.  Of setting your sights on a goal and reaching it no matter what.
This years tour has been full of such stories.  Even today, Lance Armstrong attempted to win the day by riding over four mountains solo to the finish over one hundred miles.  He did not make it.  However, his effort was valiant and had all the fans reminiscing about his wins just a few years back. 
But it was truly the attempt that took the most courage and gave everyone, especially Lance, a reason to Hope.  This is every bit a parallel to real life.  We are more then halfway through summer.  For many their have been great struggles, beautiful and equally gut wrenching stories, reasons to Hope and reasons to doubt.  Yet it is in the attempt, in the saying "yes", in the moving on, even if that movement is at a crawl; it is in these things that our stories are truly made complete. 
In endurance sports, after the rush and speed of the opening of a race, or a long mountain climb, an athlete is said to get their "second wind".  A rush of adrenaline and strength that leads them to get back in the hunt or otherwise continue on towards the goal. 
My Hope is that,
wherever you are,
 in reality and passion,
in spirit and in truth,
that you are on your second wind, or quickly approaching this renewal, while keeping an iron focus on the goals of Life and Love.
This is not just my Hope, but it is also my belief.  I know that you will find that strength, from deep within, and when you do, know that you are courageous and lovely, a bright spot in a universe that would sometimes seem against all that is good and true.

It may not start with moving all the mountains in your life,
but it may just begin with YOU.

Listen:
josh moore- "too good to be true"

Dedicated to Vino'- for second wind, and second chances...
(photo courtesy of Graham Watson)

My Hope resides, the children are...

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2390/1515342953_4d17f59a3b.jpg
When I go running, or biking for that matter, I don't think about anything but the task at hand, the physical effort, and the temporary escape from the busyness and/or stress from life.  That's why the people I meet along my "me time" best be pretty special... and of course, many times they are.  The natural highs associated with physical activity are really helpful to anyone in life and I find after adventures on the roads or in the woods, I am often better able to Love and be loved in this hectic life we live.  So it is always a pleasant experience to find something breathtaking on the trail or in another adventurer.
  After a recent run I stopped at the track to watch the descending sun caught up in fast moving, eastward bound storm clouds.  Upon walking back towards my car, I spotted a large man and a little girl walking just ahead of me, in the same direction.  The man was strong and tall, and had multiple ear and facial piercings.  The little girl was probably around five or six and was wearing a black summer dress.  The man was intimidating, the little girl was not.  It was some kind of contrast,
while here I am, skinny runner boy, coming up behind them.  But the part of this picture that was most striking was what the little girl was doing.  She was picking up pieces of trash and empty bottles.  Not just a couple here and there, then moving on,
She was picking up every single piece of trash within eyesight!
Not only that, but the impending figure of a man (i presume her Dad) was in charge of holding all the junk she found.
It was quite a picture.
I was moving at a faster speed then the two of them, so I was about to pass by and jump in my car when I decided, maybe to spare Dad some work, or maybe because I was motivated by the little girl; to start picking up any of the pieces on the other side of the path she had previously missed.  After collecting a number of pieces, I proceeded to walk by, and without a glance back, to smile, toss the trash and start my journey home.
But before I could ponder the equally captivating little girl and the light cascading through the clouds, I heard the little girl utter something to the effect of,
"hey daddy, he's helping too"
This scene just made my day for SO many reasons.  For the beauty I didn't expect to find, for the motivation of a young child, for the apple-of-his-eye type feeling the girl gave to her dad and for the innocent Hope of a child.
All of this coming in a town where the elementary school provides the motto,
"Here, the children are our future"
Yes, they are,
and,
if this little girl is any prediction of that,
I am not only excited, but I am awe inspired;
and on a stifling afternoon when I went out looking for a little run in the woods,
...I found my Hope renewed.

That we may all move like this...

Listen:
Joel and Janna- anyway (check these people outski)

freedom and us

"freedom isn't free"
and
"the only thing needed for evil to succeed in this world, is for good people to do nothing"

Are two quotes that come to mind on this 4th of July 2010.  The first quote in particular often connotates a military notion, that we must pay for our freedom with blood, sweat and sacrifice.  The second confirms this notion, that good men (and woman) have to step forth to push back the forces that seek destruction and pain in this world.  Yet we very seldom live this way.  We have come to a time and place where we cannot see, except through military means or media, the brutality and the struggle that is at play in a world gone mad by the hunt for power and advancing oneself over one's brother (or has it always been this way?) and here in America we have a very small glimpse of what it is to fight for freedom (except our first hand military warriors).  But we are not completely free as you suppose.  There are many, many people in this country who do not feel free.  Perhaps this is because real freedom, in its simplest, yet deepest sense is neither free nor evil, but rather infinite.  The real freedom our hearts seek can only be found in the simplest of truths and a child-like sense of wonder.  Freedom can only be found in Truth; and Love.  Freedom goes beyond a feeling, relationships, or political control, but rather a sense of belonging to a larger story and leading an existence that is found deep within, so deep that it may only correspond to your own Hopes, Dreams and Experiences.
And it is a battle, a struggle.
It is a lifelong venture.
Freedom is not free.
Nor is it easy.
But "we owe it to ourselves"
and...
"we can't just let it go"
Our entire existence depends on freedom and the pursuit therein; yet it is only a select few who choose to seek and defend it.  We all have a part to play in this, in every word we say and every action that stays.  Let us seek the truth, absolutely, and in doing so, let freedom ring, and let infinity answer the call of the feeling we are truly after.  At the end of the age, freedom is not a right, but rather a precious gift, and as such amazing gifts are, it is not to be kept to ourselves.    
The choice to pursue freedom is of such earth shattering importance,
that all of our lives hang in its balance, as do the words nobody ever wants to hear,
"it didn't have to end like this"-

listen:
anberlin- we owe this to ourselves (King)

fall away * * line

I had this idea.  Call it a catch phrase.
You know those lines in movies- the lines where everything relies on that moment; the in or out, the win or lose, the love or leave line...
or even the line your friend gives you before leaving that you just needed to hear "one" more time
or
that word that "makes your day" at Dunkin donuts as the sweetest lady in the world pours your coffee again.


Edward Bloom "they say when you meet the love of your life, time stops.  What they don't tell you is that when it starts again, it moves twice as fast to catch up" [Big Fish]
A phrase of spoken word that hangs in time, as fireflies dancing on an August evening or the PA announcer letting the crowd know the home team has won, the title, again.
Andrew Largeman "Yeah, the ellipsis, it's dumb. It's dumb. It's an awful idea. I'm not gonna do it, okay? Cause like you said, this is it. This is life. And I'm in love with you... [Garden State]
Our lives are made up of hundreds upon millions of these lines.  'Lines and phrases like knives" as Anberlin says.  In a world of busyness and technological miracles, it is our words that still carry the most weight in our thoughts and feelings moving from one person to another, most often spoken word, but written as well. 
So it would be good then to remember how important this is and to think before we speak, because just as a few words can finalize a brilliant story or seal the deal on an epic romance, lines can also break hearts and crush dreams.  May your lines today and all days carry the Hope and Love of your favorite lines, and may you slow long enough to see the "fall away lines" that make our days and may even make up the very people we are today.  We all have these lines and we all have stories worth telling.  Share or remember the lines that make them move; today.
Charley Waite "Be seein ya, Sue"[Open Range]
listen:
Josh Moore- Shadows in the Dark

"let him without sin, throw the first stone"

long enough to be felt

"to love someone means to move" fr. Guissani

(foto courtesy TWLOHA.com)

Our words need actions to come alive.  Even the greatest word s, faith, hope, love, truth or the ever more majestic words, like triumph, correspondence, enamored, devotional- they all need some sort of action on the other side to make them come ALIVE.  
  There is a big difference between knowing something, having it in your mind as true and real; and believing or rather feeling something.  I know my mom and dad love me, but sometimes I don't feel like it (same for myself in regards to them).  I believe we know a lot of things in life, but it is becoming increasingly difficult in the crazy and fast paced life that we live, for us to allow ourselves and others to feel these things we speak on and believe so well.
Sometimes in our conversations and interactions, we (and I only say we cause I frequently do this) look right past the person speaking and think about something we are doing later or maybe what we are going to say in reply.  It is hard not to, right?  Or, even worse, in a Christian sense, we rush our friend speaking on the issue at hand or cannot make time for them altogether because we promise, "oh I'll just pray for you, later".  Of course prayer is important, rather, it is essential (Luke 18:1), but it is not nor has it ever been a scape goat.  We still need to move.  We need to remain, true to what comes up, over and over in our hearts.  Especially when we don't feel like it. 
I think we have a natural connotation to put things in order, place value on our relationships; preferences.  We would rather hang out with him or her, rather go to the concert instead of the dinner, rather be with friends instead of at the family reunion, rather turn off my phone when I know my friend wants to talk...
and yet the type of love that we are to move in, the kind of love that still loves in this broken world, the unconditional love, the truest sense of this glorious four letter word, is still possible.  Even today, even in this very moment.  But we have to let it go.  We have to let it return.  We have to place it in our minds before we go to bed and let it rise with us in the morning sun- We have to let go, and let Love.  It is possible.  It is crazy, it is daring, bold and trans formative, it is real.  It looks different for every single person, and it just maybe the hardest thing in the world, maybe even harder then bungee jumping, Tour de Francing, or storming the beach on D-Day facing emanate death at the hands of evil manifested in human form. 

What does it look like to give ourselves over to Love?

and can we stay with it, with you, long enough to be felt?

"because I know, what its like, everyone that I know, every place that i go, every story that I'm told,
It's love, love, love, it's love, love, love, that we're lookin for"

LISTEN:
mat kearney- "everyone I know"

presence: Part II

In the last post I spoke about companions and shared a little bit about the companions I have been so fortunate to have in my life.  The companions I have and the companion I am leads into this next idea of presence; that we can be in a place, in different places during a day, yet we may not actually "be there".  Companionship is so great and so important because it allows you to share your heart, to share the very essence of life and living.  It may actually slow life down, slow it down to allow you to breathe, to laugh.  But this is under duress.  Companionship and slowing down enough to grab a cup of coffee with a friend is becoming more and more difficult.  We are Moving TOO fast people!  One issue I see with this is the fact that we can be in different places and do different things over the course of a day and yet not really think about anything we have done or witnessed.  We are not present in the very life we are living!
  There is a scene in one of my favorite movies, Garden state, where Andrew (Zach Braff) has just finished telling the story about how his mother became paralyzed when he was a child.  The scene is set as four people are sitting by a fireplace and the only light cascading through the room is the lit place in a giant, yet otherwise empty living room.  Andrew is sharing the story with everyone, but Sam (Natalie Portman) is the only one really paying attention (they have all had a little to drink).  As Andrew finishing telling the story, Sam asks a striking question,
Sam: You're in it right now, aren't you?
Andrew Largeman: What?
Sam: My mom always says that, when she can see I'm like working something out in my head, she's like, 'you're in it right now' and I'm looking at you're telling this story, and you're definitely in it.
Our lives and our relationships are lived out in reality, but sometimes we get so into a moment, usually from the past, that we exit the reality we are in.  The thing that is neat about this, is that, even though we are simultaneously in two places, in one story, while sharing the same story or moment, those listening are focused on us and this part of us we want to share.  We are "in" one story while living another!  Yet the reality of it is that we have to be present to be in either or rather, both. 
  A great priest once said (Fr. Guissani) "to discover Christ as a presence, we must first come to the conclusion that Christ is indeed, present".  Jesus may be the best example of a presence.  He was always in the moment, so fired up, so focused.  We should be as such for those around us.  Human connection is one of the most sacred and amazing gifts we have to share in this life, and even with the best companions in the world, your presence is still required to live out and enjoy this story; to be "in it". 
  Never underestimate the power of presence.  Entering into a place, a situation, a relationship, or continuing into an existing one, means so much to the people around you.  I had the opportunity to see an old friend recently.  And although we have not kept up for awhile (yet hopefully will this summer!) my presence at his house made hm extremely happy and I believe, was a bit of light for a few of the other guests at the party, especially the kids.  Although it was a different setting then I was used to, my presence was needed there, and, as the band Sleeping at Last puts it so well, "the Light that we hold (EVERYONE HAS THIS), must be buried, buried to Bloom".

Dear__________________,
Welcome to summer.  I'll be voyaging with you the entire time.  Your presence is formerly requested at the rope swing, the mall, the beach, work, the bike race, the family barbecue, the trip to New York, your birthday, the fireworks, camp, your nephews house, a mountain hike, and on and on...
Will you choose to accept?  Will you meet me there?

Your gracious companions,
Infinity, Destiny, & Yahweh

listen:
Brooke Fraser- "CS Lewis song"

companion: part I

Yesterday morning I got up early and prepared for a race, as I have so often over the last five years on a weekend morning when most of my other friends and many people in my age group are still resting quietly in their beds.  Most often these endeavors are to be lived out alone.  Rising, eating, preparing, packing, traveling, warming-up, and racing- all in a solitary state of preparation and focus. 
To go backwards a moment, most of us were involved in sports at one level or another throughout childhood and maybe even high school.  But most often you get to college and post college you drop this type of activity all together.  Not only is this NO good for your physical body but also for the mental and relational side of you as well.  This is yet another reason why endurance sports, such as bike racing, triathlon and running are so cool.  Often times you can have a seventy year old running enthusiast, just happy to finish the race in one piece, toeing the start line with a twenty-one year old collegiate track star who wants to set the course record.  As aforementioned, much of endurance sport time, spent prepping, training and racing, is spent alone; yet it is the time after the dust has settled, the gathering for snacks and awards, the sharing of battle stories, the comfort of family and friends, that we are most happy and even if we have a bad result in an event, all the struggle and strain of the days efforts and washed away, by the smile of a girlfriend or the pat on the back of an old coach...
  Yesterday I had the opportunity to share my passion and the morning's event with my friend Hari.  Not only was this extra inspiration on a chilly and wet morning, but it just made for a better overall experience.  He encouraged me, before and after the race, helped me double check if I had everything I needed, and even held my coat while I raced off into the forest.
  The last few weeks I have thought so much about companions and companionship; and the company we keep.  I have had all sorts of companions, from friends to family, those whom I share laughs with, those who laugh at me, a chance at romance, and a hint of what loving a friend, through thick and thin, is all about.  How blessed I am to have such AMAZING companions to share this life with; and how further magnificent it is to have such different and unique individuals who not only tolerate, but, somehow believe in me, and I in them. 
My prayer for this post is as follows:
That for everyone who reads this, for everyone who is friends with them, for all the people I have a chance to come in contact with, for everyone I have yet to meet:
That you might, by the grace of all things infinite and the imperfection of this planet, seek and be sought, in the companionship of faith, Hope and Love, in friendship, brotherhood, sisterhood and romance, All the days of your life-
for this life is meant to be lived out with one another, because, it is with one another we may truly live.

Even God desires companionship!  (Jesus, the Father, and the spirit- makes three)-

Two song lines have re-occurred to me over and over again corresponding to the above thoughts:

"I'd rather get lost with YOU instead" Mat Kearney [all i have]

                                                and

"Oh my love, won't you sing ALONG?"  [how the day sounds] Greg Laswell

A desirable day

"I'd rather get lost with you instead..."

Looking back on yesterday, I can honestly say it was one of those ordinary miracles of a day that we soooo often take for granted.  As with all good days, it seems, the day began with some resistance.  Evan woke me up at 6:40 after a high blood sugar and all I wanted to do was go back to bed- I didn't.
Evan teaches me a lot about friendship and agape phileo.  That is to say, I love him like a brother, but he can also make my blood boil, over the top of the pot, over again.  That's how I know I care about him.
The rest of the day was brilliant.  Masterful. Astounding.
To revisit, in the caverns of my mind, the sights and sounds of the kids playing at the after school program, as the clouds danced above, in and out of darkness, the kickball game receiving a ten minute rain delay and the kindergartner's dancing in raindrops.
The efforts of a long run in the country, greeting passers by, smiling, moving, breathing, straining; the hills seem bigger today and the animals closer (baby bear!).
Finding yourself in a field with your best friend, musing over life and love, letting the trinity of three gorgeous mountains sweep you away before you attempt to take one another down, in the spirit of all things playful and joyous.
The lowering sun and the elegance of young married couples and their lovely children frolicking on the hillside at the party for their beloved sunshine.  Summer skirts, ukulele's, wild flowers and cakes of carrots.  All the while quiet conversation and a promise of tomorrow to guide us to a sigh of relief for a job well done and the blessings of the chance to do it again in the morn.
Happy birthday Sunshine!!!
At the outset of the day, Evan, upon being asked if he was feeling better, simply said, "yeah i think this is the best day of my life".  Them's serious words.  Best implies greater then all others.  Best is a big word.  Like tallest or longest, flashiest or most hilarious, like perfection, like Jesus.  Although I don't think Ev meant to say this day was better then all others, as if perfect, it got me thinkin about perfection.  As the above adventures of the day would imply, it was a beautifully dynamic and intricately connected day.  Yet as the sun set and the mind wandered, I began to see through to the imperfection of it, counted the few elements or even the sole element I was missing, Hoped for those who had not had such a day, and desired Love even more.
That is to say, Love made perfect (1John 4:18There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love).
Sitting back with a cup of (decaf) coffee last even in, recounting the day, thanking the heavens for a once "quiet" evening, I was greatly humbled, not troubled, by whatever it is I had missed during this "best day".  And although I know pretty well what I missed and what I desired, it was humbling, even warming (like a warm drink on a winter day!) to know that it can and will be better; and different, in the future, tomorrow.
(Nothing happens the same twice- Narnia)  There is still a great deal to be offered to those who wander this earth.  A great romance beyond the mountains.  There is still a desire to be met, still a journey to travel; but life IS NOT a checklist, we cannot go about checking boxes of different hopes and goals. Nor is it even close to perfect.  Yet each experience has the capacity to draw us closer to our heart-of-hearts, to our innermost being, to who we are created to BE; each experience and even moment has the opportunity to change us or our friends, to make straight this path were on, to leave a mark on our community; to change the very world we live in.  Truly, each moment can do this.  Until all moments speak perfection and float as eagles, we have each other and we have today.

May your day be humbly hopeful, and happily imperfect; with all you have...

listen:
 Mat Kearney- All i Have

photo: www.whitemountainart.com/images/fhs132.jpg

a martyr, a memory, a young life, A Savior: the perfect tourniquet

I got to see one of my favorite and most inspired bands recently.  It was even better to see them with one of my very best friends and 'ol roommate Sam.  They hail from Florida, but their recent album cover features a picturesque landscape that I can relate to and makes me Love them all the more.  Anberlin inspires and pushes me in the right direction everyday.  I first started listening to them in 2006 and shortly after started looking into their lyrics, which, for an up tempo emo/indie band in the mold of Brand new, were incredibly deep and thought provoking.  Shortly after I found out they were all Christians (Stephen's last name is actually Christian) and pumped up about the possibility of a better life through this genre of music.

All this excitement and all the elements of words and sounds and projects outside of music and the depth of a couple of Floridians with instruments makes the mind put people on a pedestal.  Although I tended to think of Stephen and the band as "superhero's" of truth and love (and maybe they are) it was quickly made clear to me, that they were just twenty something year old guys.  They have faults, they have shortcomings, they have fallen short: they are just like me.
Dismantle.Repair

Humbling for sure!  Then again, I was still like a little kid at the show, singing every song until my lungs burned and my legs ached from jumping up and down!  And I got Deon's pick!!!

So as that concert on one of the last days in May, gets me pumped up about living and loving and attempting to walk the glorious path God has laid before me, i figured I'd propose a few questions???

What bands or rather song(s) Move you to Move?  To be a better person, to Hope, to laugh, to draw on an experience and go gravitate infinity?  Is there a song that you feel was written for YOU?

...and the second part of that is, why not allow these things to move us?  Our dance party at CSC last year had a theme of, "Let go, Let love"  Can we not live our lives this way?  Can we not let our hearts be moved, as frightening and as daunting as it may be?  I think the answer is, we can, and we will.  Because that which moves us is not just for inspiration or a good time, but rather these elements of life, in this case music tell us about our own hearts, and what they need.  These words tell us about our own Hopes and Dreams, our destiny in this life.  These guitar riff's tell us about our God and how he would love to see us move and help one another out of Love.  Finally, these songs tell us about our story, and how, with faith and Love, we can live magnificent stories that even Hollywood would be jealous for.

This movement is "the perfect tourniquet", this movement is "Jesus to the demons", this reality is "laughing, loving, living free and singing"-

Don't drop your Arms!  (Thank you ANBERLIN...Godspeed!!!)

listen:
"Paperthin hymn" anberlin

"Dismantle.Repair" acoustic- anberlin

Post Script: I am very excited to read the new book by John and Stasi Eldridge, "Love & War" and I will be (new thing) writing a review about it after I read it stay tuned!!

The Length of Time over which recollection Extends

Memorial Day is important.  Memories are important.  Memories are celebrations of Life.

It has been a very quiet memorial day in New London today, and I find that sad.  Not to say that the day and the particular people remembered on this day (especially armed forces and recently lost loved ones) has been forgotten, but the outward celebration of life has not been proclaimed.  That I can tell.  Then again, maybe we all o this in many ways.  I chose to think and pray for those close to my friends and myself, we have lost over the past few years and days, and I chose to make these thoughts action by writing some people I was close to on my left forearm as I ran in a local 5K race in remembrance and memorium.

It is important to remember, for so many reasons.  The title I chose for this post is one of the many dictionary definitions for "memories".  The length of time over which recollection extends.  As many of you know, one of the struggles related to my brain injury is trouble recollecting short term memories (anatomy was really difficult five months post accident!)  So, according to this definition, their is a limited time which recollection extends.  This is of course true, and maybe even more true for somebody like me who has trouble recollecting in general.  It is also true because people with brain injuries and short term memory deficits are often depressed and frustrated with life due to these struggles.  That tells you how important memories are.

Memories are extremely relevant too.  Where we have been and what we hold onto can tell us a lot about who we are right now.  It can also tell us where we would like to and not like to go in the future. Memories are like a cities on the map of your story, your life.  They are filled with everything life has to offer, all the ups and downs, all the love and pain, all the trial and tribulations- all the ebb and flow.  So they are not only important and purposeful, but they are monumental in leading us towards the life we would like to live, the destiny Love would have us grasp.

But I would say they are even more.
Memories are the recollection of all five senses combining to make a movie from the past, of a person, of an experience.  They are not just a filling of time and space, but a lived opportunity at making this world better, or somehow OK.  So on memorial day, we can think of the people who made these experiences come to life.  After all, this life is about relationship.  Good or bad, missing, crying, and rejoicing, people make us move, and love leads us to continue, on and on, with memories being the wake in the sea of time.

To all those I have lost, to all whose memory I hold still, joyfully or begrudgingly,
Thank You    
For you have made my life beautiful and filled me to overflowing.  And YOU continue to do this, in spirit and in truth, ALWAYS.

On this memorial day, know that YOU are much more then a "recollection", so much more, but rather our lives are an extension of God (in HIS image), that spans all time, and always rejoices at the memories we hold close.  Memories are celebrations of Life. 

High Horses: Horse Feathers

I have been sleeping on the futon because my bed is covered in laundry.  As I arose into the morning (there are no curtains in this room) my gaze turned to the many pictures and figures around my room.  My thoughts immediately turned to Lauren and the wonderful painting she had made for my birthday this past winter.  Then I looked at the giant CL picture of the Jesus statue in Rio De Janiero and I thought about Ewa, who had introduced me to the beautiful expression of faith in the Communion and Liberation movement.  Then on scanning to the TWLOHA spring tour brochure I thought of the amazing night Brianna, Andy, Alyse and Lauren and I spent hanging with Jamie T and Ryan from Sleeping at Last, Denny and Denny's!  Then I saw the wonderful picture of a "lily? Kristy had given me that arose after my cat passed away... and on and on. 
In the early morning sun, i thought, wow I am blessed to have such experiences and even better friends.  All of these experiences somehow leading up to this one young man that I am, every one adding to the character and life I hold inside me.  This also made me think about Ego.  As someone in the Christian fellowship here at CSC and having just graduated I have influence within a lot of areas and have made a great many friends and acquaintances around town.  But when something amazing happens or somebody asks me for help, it is easy to get excited and say, wow, "look what I can do". 

So upon looking around my room, my conclusion is that alone I can do nearly nothing.  But rather, it is with the experiences, the ideas, the music, the books, the Hope and the promise, all narrated by others and orchestrated by a God who cares more then we'll ever know or understand.  No, it is not me, but rather the presence inside me, that, in some round-about way, is also my own.

Then again, God gives me the reigns on my story.  Within reason of course, but their is the beautiful and majestic realization as a young Christian that Christ makes us move, helps us Love, yet he still allows us to Be.  What Love?  Can we even comprehend this divine paradox?  Everything glorious in the eyes of God, everything orchestrated, yet, everything our own, each DNA strand unique?

My original Hope for this poetic catch phrase, A DARING CORRESPONDENCE, is to find those things that hit your heart; you know what I mean, maybe a friends voice, a song by your favorite band, maybe a chance meeting, or an answered prayer- and see what and why those things strike us and what they mean in the grand story that is our own, or rather, a Story that belongs to and somehow affects ALL people.

I Hope beyond Hope that somehow, God willing, I can be a small part in you realizing you are amazing, that there's a light that never goes out, and it is NEVER too late to begin or pick up where you left off.  This is about faith, Hope and Love, but the greatest of these is Love, THE GREATEST of these is Love. 

For we are nothing and everything in this world; in the same instant of time.  Now that is a beauty to unveil, a Wild heart to live-

"Where had you been?"

Horse Feathers