presence: Part II

In the last post I spoke about companions and shared a little bit about the companions I have been so fortunate to have in my life.  The companions I have and the companion I am leads into this next idea of presence; that we can be in a place, in different places during a day, yet we may not actually "be there".  Companionship is so great and so important because it allows you to share your heart, to share the very essence of life and living.  It may actually slow life down, slow it down to allow you to breathe, to laugh.  But this is under duress.  Companionship and slowing down enough to grab a cup of coffee with a friend is becoming more and more difficult.  We are Moving TOO fast people!  One issue I see with this is the fact that we can be in different places and do different things over the course of a day and yet not really think about anything we have done or witnessed.  We are not present in the very life we are living!
  There is a scene in one of my favorite movies, Garden state, where Andrew (Zach Braff) has just finished telling the story about how his mother became paralyzed when he was a child.  The scene is set as four people are sitting by a fireplace and the only light cascading through the room is the lit place in a giant, yet otherwise empty living room.  Andrew is sharing the story with everyone, but Sam (Natalie Portman) is the only one really paying attention (they have all had a little to drink).  As Andrew finishing telling the story, Sam asks a striking question,
Sam: You're in it right now, aren't you?
Andrew Largeman: What?
Sam: My mom always says that, when she can see I'm like working something out in my head, she's like, 'you're in it right now' and I'm looking at you're telling this story, and you're definitely in it.
Our lives and our relationships are lived out in reality, but sometimes we get so into a moment, usually from the past, that we exit the reality we are in.  The thing that is neat about this, is that, even though we are simultaneously in two places, in one story, while sharing the same story or moment, those listening are focused on us and this part of us we want to share.  We are "in" one story while living another!  Yet the reality of it is that we have to be present to be in either or rather, both. 
  A great priest once said (Fr. Guissani) "to discover Christ as a presence, we must first come to the conclusion that Christ is indeed, present".  Jesus may be the best example of a presence.  He was always in the moment, so fired up, so focused.  We should be as such for those around us.  Human connection is one of the most sacred and amazing gifts we have to share in this life, and even with the best companions in the world, your presence is still required to live out and enjoy this story; to be "in it". 
  Never underestimate the power of presence.  Entering into a place, a situation, a relationship, or continuing into an existing one, means so much to the people around you.  I had the opportunity to see an old friend recently.  And although we have not kept up for awhile (yet hopefully will this summer!) my presence at his house made hm extremely happy and I believe, was a bit of light for a few of the other guests at the party, especially the kids.  Although it was a different setting then I was used to, my presence was needed there, and, as the band Sleeping at Last puts it so well, "the Light that we hold (EVERYONE HAS THIS), must be buried, buried to Bloom".

Dear__________________,
Welcome to summer.  I'll be voyaging with you the entire time.  Your presence is formerly requested at the rope swing, the mall, the beach, work, the bike race, the family barbecue, the trip to New York, your birthday, the fireworks, camp, your nephews house, a mountain hike, and on and on...
Will you choose to accept?  Will you meet me there?

Your gracious companions,
Infinity, Destiny, & Yahweh

listen:
Brooke Fraser- "CS Lewis song"

Living: Pain, Salvation & Love

"Backing away from the problem of pain you never had a home
You've been misguided, you're hiding in shadows for so very long
Don't you believe that you've been deceived?

Pain is a struggle.  Pain hurts and we all experience it.  Some experience it more then others.  At the risk of being called a sadist, I rather like pain.  Let me explain...

Recently I have gotten frustrated at the amount of pain I have heard about.  My heart is heavy for my friends.  Maybe there is always this much pain, maybe I just know more people and care about more situations these days.  But regardless, that doesn't stop me from wanting to run out into the street and start screaming, at God and his angels, the stars and the trees, "Enough.  What is this all about, Stop, just stop"  No more bleeding, no more sadness.

Where is the purpose in all this?  If God is good, how come I feel so broken?

Every human experiences pain.  It manifests itself in a multitude of ways, physical, mental, spiritual and all of those elements pain has at its disposal.  I have experienced a lot of pain the last few years.  But I have overcome much of it.  Yet I don't want to have to go through the pain, at least of those experiences, again.  But I may.  For pain is inevitable, like the sunrise or the new year.  Pain is inevitable, even mandatory to the human experience, but suffering and hopelessness are NOT.

CS Lewis wrote a book called "The problem of Pain".  I have been meaning to read it, but for the purpose of this story, pretend I have.  Lewis goes about proposing the views on pain and supposes a solution in his unique theological, yet scholarly way. 

The existence of suffering in a world created by a good and almighty God—“the problem of pain”—is a fundamental theological dilemma, and perhaps the most serious objection to the Christian religion.- Jacek Bacz

As Lewis notes, pain is a problem.  Yet there is another book I have been meaning to read titled "purpose for the pain", by Renee Yohe.  Renee is the inspiration and story behind To Write Love on Her Arms.  Both these titles and books utilize non-fiction to speak on an inherently universal element in all of humanity, yet one speaks of Pain as a problem, the other as being purposeful or rather having a purpose, some would say purpose driven.
I now lean towards pain on purpose.  I cannot say that all pain will have a happy ending.  But I will say that pain has meaning, always; and that this meaning is of great depth, sometimes we never understand.
But that feeling, even feeling pain, is feeling.  Feelings are a gift, they help us navigate this world.  And feeling something, is better then feeling nothin.  What if this feeling had a purpose, and what if this purpose had a title, and what if somehow your story was building to a climax, and maybe God still has control, and if he doesn't do anything, so far as you can tell, maybe he's putting someone in your life to help you fix things, maybe He already did...
and maybe he wants us to realize we're in this together, that pain is as universal as the stars, and the desire to love and be loved, painful as it may be,
There could be a purpose to this all of this,
and it could be waiting over the next mountain, or the next, or the next,
and your feet, heart, and your eyes, must keep looking to the sky,
step by step, toward the light up ahead,
painful as it may be,



This is the correlation of salvation and love

(Don't drop your arms)
Don't drop your arms, I'll guard your heart
With quiet words I'll lead you in"--

listening:
Anberlin- Unwinding Cable Car, the

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