To go forward we must first go back. A Number of months ago John and Stasi Eldredge, some of my favorite Christian authors put out a new book. It happened to be a marriage book, called Love and War. I was excited for the book, but quickly realized I was neither married nor did I have the extra funds to be a book to stick on the shelf and read at a time that was more applicable then when I was a single young man with a few part-time jobs. But low and behold, Ransomed Heart ministries was offering the first 200 copies to those who would review the book on their blog. I figured, I had a blog, it was worth a shot. Here is my end of the bargain!
Although I concluded the book approximately a month and a half ago, I am finally ready to give this review thing a GO. I am particularly excited to review the book for many reasons, but particularly because I have quoted the book many times over the last few days. Ever since I finished school, I have had a lot of extra time (normally spent doing homework) thinking about and pondering love and marriage in particular. It is interesting to first note the title. This is a marriage book, not a movie title or a lesson in battlefield relationships or a fictional drama; this is a marriage book. Yet the two seemingly contradictory words that make up the title are fitting, as the authors unveil over the course of the book. This is Love, in the romantic and relational sense, and yet it is a war, a battlefield, a great fight. Why do we so seldom see it this way?
I Love the intro to this book. The intro cuts from an actual wedding ceremony (with John performing the service) to the thoughts and ideas of onlookers and the narration of the authors. You are immediately captivated and you feel part of the story; and of course, you desire this for yourself, or rather, you enter yourself into the equation with your own "dearly beloved." I also enjoy how John and Stasi describe things in terms of the epic and extraordinary importance of the stories we all have and share, in this particular example, within the context of marriage. The story of marriage is that special.
Each chapter is wittingly titled, speaking on everything from a new roommate, to a shared adventure to, (gulp) even a chapter on sex! But each chapter does a good job summarizing the themes and presenting proof for said ideas in a Christian sense. I think the most important aspects covered include spiritual warfare and the importance of couples praying with one another, for these are often topics that are difficult to speak about and even more difficult to apply to couples lives.
The final chapter sums up the entire book well, and is aptly titled, "Learning to Love". This chapter is neat because much of the chapter is applicable to all of life. Is this not the aim of all? Yet learning to Love in a marriage sense is even more profound and delicate. The chapter speaks on choices, sacrifice, and forgiveness, and continually refers back to the reason and source for it all; to God. John and Stasi are so good at using quotes from others (C.S. Lewis and George MacDonald in particular) to bring home their point. They also include daily prayers on marriage and sexual healing which are particularly important in this capacity.
The only aspect of this book I did not care for was the details that we're shared. Sometimes both John and Stasi reveal a little too much in a relation to their own personal experience. hence the subtitle of "taboo topics". Some things must be revealed, but the depth of their details may take away from the actual message being presented. Real world examples are good, but sometimes a little too much just causes a whole lot of confusion for the reader.
All in all, this is the first marriage book I have read. But, having read a number of John and Stasi's books, I believe they have a good idea on the subjects they speak and they always remind us of the core of what we are searching for. In this case, we are looking for Love.
Then again, is that not what we are always seeking?
Love really is a war, yes, even Love in the romantic sense. But over and over it is confirmed, that it is worth it, and God is for it. May John and Stasi continue to be great vessels of that Love, of that co-mission- I just Hope I should be so blessed to have such an opportunity
"It does not come easy. Falling in Love is how God gives us a push in the right direction. But then we have to choose...
When we abandon ourselves to Love, we find ourselves closer to the one who is always doing that himself. We find ourselves closer to God." -John and Stasi Eldredge
Listen:
Brandon Heath- Love never Fails
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