Permission to Love

I Love To write Love on her arms and similar organizations, like Music Saves and the One campaign.  It seems as though, although this adds good and bad aspects to charities, charity and doing good things have meshed with pop culture to raise awareness and increase the desire to do good.  Young people are always at the forefront of breakthroughs big movements regarding peace and change.  With the ease of communication, this has never been easier to voice our opinion and join up with a cause.
  However, in working with college students and other young people (and being one myself) it all comes back to Love.  "Love is all we need", go figure right.  No really.  The thing that nobody tells you, is that its hard.  Damn hard.  For some, its near impossible. 
  But as young people, we experience so very much.  This is a world of influences; peer pressures, media pressures, family pressure, significant other stress, and, of course, in the world of higher education, information overload.  Yet life seems to be a little more simple when you take a step back from it all.  These influences, although many are actually quite good, can be at best time consuming, at worst, they can absolutely rule our lives.  It is easy to get overwhelmed by it all.  It is, perhaps, even easier to just throw in the towel.  Life, love, happiness and all that.  Right.
  We become so inundated with all that's happening that we forget why it is we are actually roaming this blue and green expanse.  Bogged down by the "weight of the world".  So confused about what to think and who we actually are that are opinions and views are no longer our own.  We feel like we need to wait on others to act so we can come up with an appropriate reaction.  It's as if nothing we do seems quite right.

 Well, it is not.  The world has been turned upside down; many times over.  The economies, the environment, the disasters, the wars; the oppression.

I can confidently say, most of us have it easy in America.  Yet the hurt and affliction we experience are still present.  Sure, we don't have disease epidemics so much or guerrilla warfare in our streets, but we have are not without.  Our pain just takes on a different name.  For young people, it is depression, despair and loneliness that seem to be our biggest issues.  In a time where communication is at a surplus, we are feeling more alone than ever.  Call it what you will,we are oppressed.  The oppressed are held captive. Although we are not so much held captive (depending on how you look at it) we are still in need of an escape; we need to be freed; we need a command; its as if we need permission.

Although there is always more to the story, I believe it can all be summed up by allowing ourselves and others the permission to Love.

Tell some one you love or even somebody you barely know, Tell them its ok to love.  To them to go ahead.  It may seem strange at first, but imagine if we all felt it?  If we all knew it?  If we all lived it?

Taking stock, counting blessings

"Hope for a better, November"- Jimmy Eat World

Dear friends, its time to stop and smell the, ugh, dying leaves and dried grass of another summer come and gone and a fall into the new year that is coming.  Autumn.  Fall.  Here we are, we are here.
How is your life?
Where is your heart?
What new dreams have you dreamt?
Where in the world are you?
Do you believe?
WHat can you do to get there?
What do you need to let go of?
Have you given your best?


"Not all who wander are lost"- JRR Tolkien
listen:
jimmy eat world- "futures"

Book Review: Love & War

 

To go forward we must first go back.  A Number of months ago John and Stasi Eldredge, some of my favorite Christian authors put out a new book.  It happened to be a marriage book, called Love and War.  I was excited for the book, but quickly realized I was neither married nor did I have the extra funds to be a book to stick on the shelf and read at a time that was more applicable then when I was a single young man with a few part-time jobs.  But low and behold, Ransomed Heart ministries was offering the first 200 copies to those who would review the book on their blog.  I figured, I had a blog, it was worth a shot.  Here is my end of the bargain!
  Although I concluded the book approximately a month and a half ago, I am finally ready to give this review thing a GO.  I am particularly excited to review the book for many reasons, but particularly because I have quoted the book many times over the last few days.  Ever since I finished school, I have had a lot of extra time (normally spent doing homework) thinking about and pondering love and marriage in particular.  It is interesting to first note the title.  This is a marriage book, not a movie title or a lesson in battlefield relationships or a fictional drama; this is a marriage book. Yet the two seemingly contradictory words that make up the title are fitting, as the authors unveil over the course of the book.  This is Love, in the romantic and relational sense, and yet it is a war, a battlefield, a great fight.  Why do we so seldom see it this way?
  I Love the intro to this book.  The intro cuts from an actual wedding ceremony (with John performing the service) to the thoughts and ideas of onlookers and the narration of the authors.  You are immediately captivated and you feel part of the story; and of course, you desire this for yourself, or rather, you enter yourself into the equation with your own "dearly beloved."  I also enjoy how John and Stasi describe things in terms of the epic and extraordinary importance of the stories we all have and share, in this particular example, within the context of marriage.  The story of marriage is that special.
  Each chapter is wittingly titled, speaking on everything from a new roommate, to a shared adventure to, (gulp) even a chapter on sex!  But each chapter does a good job summarizing the themes and presenting proof for said ideas in a Christian sense.  I think the most important aspects covered include spiritual warfare and the importance of couples praying with one another, for these are often topics that are difficult to speak about and even more difficult to apply to couples lives.   
  The final chapter sums up the entire book well, and is aptly titled, "Learning to Love".  This chapter is neat because much of the chapter is applicable to all of life.  Is this not the aim of all? Yet learning to Love in a marriage sense is even more profound and delicate.  The chapter speaks on choices, sacrifice, and forgiveness, and continually refers back to the reason and source for it all; to God.  John and Stasi are so good at using quotes from others (C.S. Lewis and George MacDonald in particular) to bring home their point.  They also include daily prayers on marriage and sexual healing which are particularly important in this capacity.
 The only aspect of this book I did not care for was the details that we're shared.  Sometimes both John and Stasi reveal a little too much in a relation to their own personal experience.  hence the subtitle of "taboo topics".  Some things must be revealed, but the depth of their details may take away from the actual message being presented.  Real world examples are good, but sometimes a little too much just causes a whole lot of confusion for the reader.
  All in all, this is the first marriage book I have read.  But, having read a number of John and Stasi's books, I believe they have a good idea on the subjects they speak and they always remind us of the core of what we are searching for.  In this case, we are looking for Love.
Then again, is that not what we are always seeking?
Love really is a war, yes, even Love in the romantic sense.  But over and over it is confirmed, that it is worth it, and God is for it.  May John and Stasi continue to be great vessels of that Love, of that co-mission-  I just Hope I should be so blessed to have such an opportunity

"It does not come easy.  Falling in Love is how God gives us a push in the right direction.  But then we have to choose...
When we abandon ourselves to Love, we find ourselves closer to the one who is always doing that himself.  We find ourselves closer to God." -John and Stasi Eldredge


Listen:
Brandon Heath- Love never Fails

An old song (She still moves me and dares me to believe)

PLANS- the Track Record

"It's so crazy how suicide occupies the minds of so, so many happy people
Don't lie you know you've thought about it, we all have
Part of growing up is asking questions

Isn't it mad weird how our wildest dreams tell us about our fears and what we want out of this life
Some say that it's healthy to experience breakups, mistakes, letdowns, or the death of a loved one

We owe all that we have to the people in our lives
We can only hope that this song reaches you in time

(Two pairs of eyes share a beautiful silence
Perfect weather breeds perfect smiles
So show me that face when you can't hold back yours
Plans to wake up on the beach
You know how it feels so fucking awesome when a song lets you know that you're not alone
Well these 3 minutes will beckon you too think, dance, live, learn, teach, and love)



So i'll meet you in front of Hagerstown at 10

And we'll live for the single moment
I swear i will hold you
On this bathroom wall forever
I promise not too hold this grudge against you
if you love like you've nothing to lose
I swear i will hold you



We owe all that we have to the people in our lives
We can only hope that this song reaches you in time"

Wherever you are, whatever you're doing, whatever thought is on your mind,
I Hope it finds you well.
More then well,
I Hope it finds you Alive and well-

The purpose of this life is to truly live- -

The Track Record- Plans (to wake up on the beach)

A desirable day

"I'd rather get lost with you instead..."

Looking back on yesterday, I can honestly say it was one of those ordinary miracles of a day that we soooo often take for granted.  As with all good days, it seems, the day began with some resistance.  Evan woke me up at 6:40 after a high blood sugar and all I wanted to do was go back to bed- I didn't.
Evan teaches me a lot about friendship and agape phileo.  That is to say, I love him like a brother, but he can also make my blood boil, over the top of the pot, over again.  That's how I know I care about him.
The rest of the day was brilliant.  Masterful. Astounding.
To revisit, in the caverns of my mind, the sights and sounds of the kids playing at the after school program, as the clouds danced above, in and out of darkness, the kickball game receiving a ten minute rain delay and the kindergartner's dancing in raindrops.
The efforts of a long run in the country, greeting passers by, smiling, moving, breathing, straining; the hills seem bigger today and the animals closer (baby bear!).
Finding yourself in a field with your best friend, musing over life and love, letting the trinity of three gorgeous mountains sweep you away before you attempt to take one another down, in the spirit of all things playful and joyous.
The lowering sun and the elegance of young married couples and their lovely children frolicking on the hillside at the party for their beloved sunshine.  Summer skirts, ukulele's, wild flowers and cakes of carrots.  All the while quiet conversation and a promise of tomorrow to guide us to a sigh of relief for a job well done and the blessings of the chance to do it again in the morn.
Happy birthday Sunshine!!!
At the outset of the day, Evan, upon being asked if he was feeling better, simply said, "yeah i think this is the best day of my life".  Them's serious words.  Best implies greater then all others.  Best is a big word.  Like tallest or longest, flashiest or most hilarious, like perfection, like Jesus.  Although I don't think Ev meant to say this day was better then all others, as if perfect, it got me thinkin about perfection.  As the above adventures of the day would imply, it was a beautifully dynamic and intricately connected day.  Yet as the sun set and the mind wandered, I began to see through to the imperfection of it, counted the few elements or even the sole element I was missing, Hoped for those who had not had such a day, and desired Love even more.
That is to say, Love made perfect (1John 4:18There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love).
Sitting back with a cup of (decaf) coffee last even in, recounting the day, thanking the heavens for a once "quiet" evening, I was greatly humbled, not troubled, by whatever it is I had missed during this "best day".  And although I know pretty well what I missed and what I desired, it was humbling, even warming (like a warm drink on a winter day!) to know that it can and will be better; and different, in the future, tomorrow.
(Nothing happens the same twice- Narnia)  There is still a great deal to be offered to those who wander this earth.  A great romance beyond the mountains.  There is still a desire to be met, still a journey to travel; but life IS NOT a checklist, we cannot go about checking boxes of different hopes and goals. Nor is it even close to perfect.  Yet each experience has the capacity to draw us closer to our heart-of-hearts, to our innermost being, to who we are created to BE; each experience and even moment has the opportunity to change us or our friends, to make straight this path were on, to leave a mark on our community; to change the very world we live in.  Truly, each moment can do this.  Until all moments speak perfection and float as eagles, we have each other and we have today.

May your day be humbly hopeful, and happily imperfect; with all you have...

listen:
 Mat Kearney- All i Have

photo: www.whitemountainart.com/images/fhs132.jpg