feeling ok

Listen:
anberlin- "Down"

As a young man, I still think I can change the world.  I am fired up, here and there, about the social and political ills of the world, and am quick to rush to the side of the oppressed and open my mouth to speak about how things should be better.  But one thing they forget to tell you in the inspiring books and amazing stories of world changing people, is that when you actually are in it, when you are in the midst of a mission or a charity; almost all the luster is gone and it is just plain hard (hence the reason others have either tried and failed, or just given up completely). 
  I had to tell my Boss I got a new job and would be leaving in two weeks.  I waited the whole afternoon to tell her and the anticipation was really awful.  But as I spoke words of ending, I was greeted with even greater words of what was to come.  "Sad for us, but happy for you" and then of course, on the walk out to the parking lot, a beautiful and full double rainbow.  Any reservations, any regrets?
  I believe we are our own worst enemies.  Sure our parents, significant others, professors, and mentors can add to the dynamics and pressure of an already wild and crazy world, yet usually our worst and most intense critic is the one that stares you in the mirror.  As I smiled at the sights and sounds of the early evening, and was so thankful to have such a comforting and understanding boss, I felt like God was saying well done.  That's not to say that I did a perfect job or even that I won't be back to try again, but it was a special feeling going home that day.
  I think it was so special because, beyond the natural beauty, i came to the stark yet simple realization that this is not about me at all.  I saw a friend in the store yesterday, a humble and Wise man, and after explaining the story to him, he simply said, "I think that's what we are called to do".  Meaning the little things add up.  They matter.  So instead of focusing on what "I" can do for this place, for that situation (key word being "I"), the focus should rather be what can happen if we let go, and let Love.  What could happen if we let the presence of Hope and Truth, that which dwells in all who believe, lead the way in this dance of life?  I may not have seen the impact of "my" works and actions, but that is no matter; just being in a place and believing and Hoping in and for those people present makes everything worth it.
At the end of the day we are all lost causes, trying to walk the road home.  Can it be OK? Can we change the world? 

Can we go together?