Taking stock, counting blessings

"Hope for a better, November"- Jimmy Eat World

Dear friends, its time to stop and smell the, ugh, dying leaves and dried grass of another summer come and gone and a fall into the new year that is coming.  Autumn.  Fall.  Here we are, we are here.
How is your life?
Where is your heart?
What new dreams have you dreamt?
Where in the world are you?
Do you believe?
WHat can you do to get there?
What do you need to let go of?
Have you given your best?


"Not all who wander are lost"- JRR Tolkien
listen:
jimmy eat world- "futures"

"Will you're name be recorded?"

learning how to wait... (the Almost)

I have had the opportunity to listen as of late.  To listen instead of speak, and let me tell you, this is hard.  To everyone who knows me, I am a person who loves good conversation and to prove a point.  But, as the bible so often reminds me, this life is not about me.  I have felt very anxious and impatient as i start a new season of life.  It has been as if all the world and all the experiences, thoughts and emotions that have gone into my life, have hit a standstill; a dead end; a writer's block, an ellipses. 
But,
this is a lie.
I had the opportunity to join a few older men at Panera Bread recently after work.  My friend and mentor Benny was kind enough to buy me a salad and a coffee (no money) and allow me to "meet" with some friends in what was quickly becoming a weekly event.  During the time I spent there (a little less than an hour) I got the opportunity to learn a great deal.  These men had all been through the age and time period of my life I was currently in, not only that, but lo and behold, they had survived and were living great stories.  Everyone present spoke to my life and my heart, but it was the man across from me, Wayne, whose words really pierced my young and stubborn mind.
  After re-enforcing what I had learned all summer (that we cannot save/please/protect/teach EVERYONE we encounter) and sharing a bit of his background, he proceeded to explain the "meaning" behind his work, which has been with the Postal Service for 32 years.  But, as you might imagine, we did not talk about mail or packages.  He really got my attention when he spoke these words very firmly,
"Will you're name be remembered in the history books?"
I thought at first he was making some sort of theological or philosophical point, but he was dead serious. 
"How about you?"
Everyone around the table said no, and he promptly continued to explain that his name is recorded in Washington D.C. int he national archives as he was the post master of two towns for a good deal of those 32 years.  He told this story, not out of pride, but out of the fact that his story mattered.  His seemingly simple job was important.  Well beyond a name being recorded, he got to supervise, to watch over others.  To serve them in a multitude of ways, above and WAY beyond the standard postmaster.  He was a friend, a counselor, a mentor, a nurse, an aide, a shoulder, a friend.  He had truly made the most of his profession and used it for the will of the one who sent him.  You see, Wayne studied guidance and counseling in grad school and even had his own practice for over two years.  But it was not in an office or school where he most used his acquired skill and his heart for service, but rather in delivering mail and supervising mailmen.
  I finished my first statement by saying " this is a lie".  It's so true.  I have put so much pressure on myself to live and love and serve, serve, serve; that I have forgotten why I serve.  That I have let anxiety and worry overcome "doing".  That I have let stress de-rail my train and that I have only "felt God" when I actually let go and let the truth and beauty held within the flesh that I am shine forth.  Actually let go.
But worst of all, I have not even comprehended the blessings that have come my way over the past month.  Namely that I have a new job and a renewed chance at Love.
and for that,
I am truly sorry,
yet so overflowing with Hope.
What am I going to be?  Who can I help?  Will my name be recorded in history?

It is time to take my own advice,
It's time to "Let go and Let Love"

listen:
Sleeping at Last "Next to me"

Between the Trees- EmoPopSmilingPurpose- Do rock out!!!

So every now and (actually everyday) a band hits me and is a big part of my day.  Bands (and signers) make music and therefore carry the melodies and messages of beauty and truth to our ears.  Between the Trees is one of those bands.  They are very near and dear to my heart and although they are officially coming to an end as a complete band, their story and their place in mine and others lives has been firmly planted.

  I had the opportunity to see one of my favorite bands over the winter break from college.  This band was anberlin and the concert was during a very confusing and vulnerable time in my life.  Yet it was not anberlin, or even the great shared experience with my best Friend Evan (and his first modern rock concert), but the opening band that really stood out that evening.  This was where i first met Between the Trees. 

(Wes, courtesy of Flicker)

  After buying there album and heading home with Evan, I quickly found the song I had been dying to hear again ever since the performance.  After dropping off Evan and carrying the post concert high (you know what I mean) complete with buzzing ears, I proceeded to rock out to BTT in the car and  fight off sleep with their poppy guitar riffs and deep words.  Once again, Between the Trees and I met at the right time.  I was so stoaked, i decided to swing off the highway to our local Morning Star Christian book and music store (please support this small chain!!!) and say some late night prayers in the parking lot. 
  After hearing about BTT discontinuing their musical pursuits, I didn't feel a bit of remorse.  I know they are awesome guys and will be off to do many cool things, music related or not.  I think the reason I was not so bummed was because of their lasting impact, and their involvement in my favorite charity, To Write Love on Her Arms.  As a matter of fact, two of their first albums songs are dedicated/inspired by Renee Yohe- video:
Between the Trees and Renee Yohe talk--
  The more I go on in this adventure of life and love, I learn about the importance of story.  BTT's first album, "A story and the song" is all about that.  Renee's story was a big part of that album.  But they also played a big part in my story and I'm sure many of the other fans they touched over the last few years.  This was a band that always wanted to leave an impression of Hope and purpose with everything they did, in a genre of music often known for songs of bad break-ups and utter loneliness.  BTT is a band that will forever live on, and the Love and Hope that drives them is going to propel them into beautiful things for a long time to come.  THANK YOU! 
and
GOD BLESS!

song from first album, "The story and the song" "its not the intimacy that brings me closer to you..."
"Red lines and white lights"
song from second album, "Spain" "i know, things aren't quite like what they used to be, yeah..."
"We can try"

transition: mntn life

"Love will tell us the rest of what we need to know, soon"- Rumi 

So i have reached a very new season in my life.  After working very hard this summer with the NOST after school/summer camp program and taking a break from bike riding, I have moved on to a new adventure.  The job is new, the adventure is a bit of a returning.  I will be working part-time (hopefully full time soon!) with Eastern Mountain Sports and continuing to guard the night as the NLI nightwatchman.  Working at EMS has re-opened many doors in terms of outdoor adventure and racing, and I am very hopeful about competing and SHARING adventures this coming year.  After all, life is not about me; but then again, God knows our hearts and the things in life we love, the elements and purpose in all we do.  Our passions are not just things, but they also help us write the story of who we are.  They tell us what we really want and what matters most- 

I Hope whatever season you are in, or if things are changing quickly and you don't really understand why, that you can hang on for the ride and know it will all make sense soon.   

Post script: Whenever I write the word "Hope" i try to capitalize it.  I know that you are only supposed to capitalize proper nouns and such, but i believe Hope is a special word.  Maybe the most special of them all.  Hope is a feeling, Hope is a smile, Hope is an inspiration, Hope is a movement: Hope is real.  Check out Romans 5:5 for further details...

 listen:
 Switchfoot (Jon Foreman)- "thrive"