My Hope resides, the children are...

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When I go running, or biking for that matter, I don't think about anything but the task at hand, the physical effort, and the temporary escape from the busyness and/or stress from life.  That's why the people I meet along my "me time" best be pretty special... and of course, many times they are.  The natural highs associated with physical activity are really helpful to anyone in life and I find after adventures on the roads or in the woods, I am often better able to Love and be loved in this hectic life we live.  So it is always a pleasant experience to find something breathtaking on the trail or in another adventurer.
  After a recent run I stopped at the track to watch the descending sun caught up in fast moving, eastward bound storm clouds.  Upon walking back towards my car, I spotted a large man and a little girl walking just ahead of me, in the same direction.  The man was strong and tall, and had multiple ear and facial piercings.  The little girl was probably around five or six and was wearing a black summer dress.  The man was intimidating, the little girl was not.  It was some kind of contrast,
while here I am, skinny runner boy, coming up behind them.  But the part of this picture that was most striking was what the little girl was doing.  She was picking up pieces of trash and empty bottles.  Not just a couple here and there, then moving on,
She was picking up every single piece of trash within eyesight!
Not only that, but the impending figure of a man (i presume her Dad) was in charge of holding all the junk she found.
It was quite a picture.
I was moving at a faster speed then the two of them, so I was about to pass by and jump in my car when I decided, maybe to spare Dad some work, or maybe because I was motivated by the little girl; to start picking up any of the pieces on the other side of the path she had previously missed.  After collecting a number of pieces, I proceeded to walk by, and without a glance back, to smile, toss the trash and start my journey home.
But before I could ponder the equally captivating little girl and the light cascading through the clouds, I heard the little girl utter something to the effect of,
"hey daddy, he's helping too"
This scene just made my day for SO many reasons.  For the beauty I didn't expect to find, for the motivation of a young child, for the apple-of-his-eye type feeling the girl gave to her dad and for the innocent Hope of a child.
All of this coming in a town where the elementary school provides the motto,
"Here, the children are our future"
Yes, they are,
and,
if this little girl is any prediction of that,
I am not only excited, but I am awe inspired;
and on a stifling afternoon when I went out looking for a little run in the woods,
...I found my Hope renewed.

That we may all move like this...

Listen:
Joel and Janna- anyway (check these people outski)

freedom and us

"freedom isn't free"
and
"the only thing needed for evil to succeed in this world, is for good people to do nothing"

Are two quotes that come to mind on this 4th of July 2010.  The first quote in particular often connotates a military notion, that we must pay for our freedom with blood, sweat and sacrifice.  The second confirms this notion, that good men (and woman) have to step forth to push back the forces that seek destruction and pain in this world.  Yet we very seldom live this way.  We have come to a time and place where we cannot see, except through military means or media, the brutality and the struggle that is at play in a world gone mad by the hunt for power and advancing oneself over one's brother (or has it always been this way?) and here in America we have a very small glimpse of what it is to fight for freedom (except our first hand military warriors).  But we are not completely free as you suppose.  There are many, many people in this country who do not feel free.  Perhaps this is because real freedom, in its simplest, yet deepest sense is neither free nor evil, but rather infinite.  The real freedom our hearts seek can only be found in the simplest of truths and a child-like sense of wonder.  Freedom can only be found in Truth; and Love.  Freedom goes beyond a feeling, relationships, or political control, but rather a sense of belonging to a larger story and leading an existence that is found deep within, so deep that it may only correspond to your own Hopes, Dreams and Experiences.
And it is a battle, a struggle.
It is a lifelong venture.
Freedom is not free.
Nor is it easy.
But "we owe it to ourselves"
and...
"we can't just let it go"
Our entire existence depends on freedom and the pursuit therein; yet it is only a select few who choose to seek and defend it.  We all have a part to play in this, in every word we say and every action that stays.  Let us seek the truth, absolutely, and in doing so, let freedom ring, and let infinity answer the call of the feeling we are truly after.  At the end of the age, freedom is not a right, but rather a precious gift, and as such amazing gifts are, it is not to be kept to ourselves.    
The choice to pursue freedom is of such earth shattering importance,
that all of our lives hang in its balance, as do the words nobody ever wants to hear,
"it didn't have to end like this"-

listen:
anberlin- we owe this to ourselves (King)

fall away * * line

I had this idea.  Call it a catch phrase.
You know those lines in movies- the lines where everything relies on that moment; the in or out, the win or lose, the love or leave line...
or even the line your friend gives you before leaving that you just needed to hear "one" more time
or
that word that "makes your day" at Dunkin donuts as the sweetest lady in the world pours your coffee again.


Edward Bloom "they say when you meet the love of your life, time stops.  What they don't tell you is that when it starts again, it moves twice as fast to catch up" [Big Fish]
A phrase of spoken word that hangs in time, as fireflies dancing on an August evening or the PA announcer letting the crowd know the home team has won, the title, again.
Andrew Largeman "Yeah, the ellipsis, it's dumb. It's dumb. It's an awful idea. I'm not gonna do it, okay? Cause like you said, this is it. This is life. And I'm in love with you... [Garden State]
Our lives are made up of hundreds upon millions of these lines.  'Lines and phrases like knives" as Anberlin says.  In a world of busyness and technological miracles, it is our words that still carry the most weight in our thoughts and feelings moving from one person to another, most often spoken word, but written as well. 
So it would be good then to remember how important this is and to think before we speak, because just as a few words can finalize a brilliant story or seal the deal on an epic romance, lines can also break hearts and crush dreams.  May your lines today and all days carry the Hope and Love of your favorite lines, and may you slow long enough to see the "fall away lines" that make our days and may even make up the very people we are today.  We all have these lines and we all have stories worth telling.  Share or remember the lines that make them move; today.
Charley Waite "Be seein ya, Sue"[Open Range]
listen:
Josh Moore- Shadows in the Dark

"let him without sin, throw the first stone"

companion: part I

Yesterday morning I got up early and prepared for a race, as I have so often over the last five years on a weekend morning when most of my other friends and many people in my age group are still resting quietly in their beds.  Most often these endeavors are to be lived out alone.  Rising, eating, preparing, packing, traveling, warming-up, and racing- all in a solitary state of preparation and focus. 
To go backwards a moment, most of us were involved in sports at one level or another throughout childhood and maybe even high school.  But most often you get to college and post college you drop this type of activity all together.  Not only is this NO good for your physical body but also for the mental and relational side of you as well.  This is yet another reason why endurance sports, such as bike racing, triathlon and running are so cool.  Often times you can have a seventy year old running enthusiast, just happy to finish the race in one piece, toeing the start line with a twenty-one year old collegiate track star who wants to set the course record.  As aforementioned, much of endurance sport time, spent prepping, training and racing, is spent alone; yet it is the time after the dust has settled, the gathering for snacks and awards, the sharing of battle stories, the comfort of family and friends, that we are most happy and even if we have a bad result in an event, all the struggle and strain of the days efforts and washed away, by the smile of a girlfriend or the pat on the back of an old coach...
  Yesterday I had the opportunity to share my passion and the morning's event with my friend Hari.  Not only was this extra inspiration on a chilly and wet morning, but it just made for a better overall experience.  He encouraged me, before and after the race, helped me double check if I had everything I needed, and even held my coat while I raced off into the forest.
  The last few weeks I have thought so much about companions and companionship; and the company we keep.  I have had all sorts of companions, from friends to family, those whom I share laughs with, those who laugh at me, a chance at romance, and a hint of what loving a friend, through thick and thin, is all about.  How blessed I am to have such AMAZING companions to share this life with; and how further magnificent it is to have such different and unique individuals who not only tolerate, but, somehow believe in me, and I in them. 
My prayer for this post is as follows:
That for everyone who reads this, for everyone who is friends with them, for all the people I have a chance to come in contact with, for everyone I have yet to meet:
That you might, by the grace of all things infinite and the imperfection of this planet, seek and be sought, in the companionship of faith, Hope and Love, in friendship, brotherhood, sisterhood and romance, All the days of your life-
for this life is meant to be lived out with one another, because, it is with one another we may truly live.

Even God desires companionship!  (Jesus, the Father, and the spirit- makes three)-

Two song lines have re-occurred to me over and over again corresponding to the above thoughts:

"I'd rather get lost with YOU instead" Mat Kearney [all i have]

                                                and

"Oh my love, won't you sing ALONG?"  [how the day sounds] Greg Laswell

The Length of Time over which recollection Extends

Memorial Day is important.  Memories are important.  Memories are celebrations of Life.

It has been a very quiet memorial day in New London today, and I find that sad.  Not to say that the day and the particular people remembered on this day (especially armed forces and recently lost loved ones) has been forgotten, but the outward celebration of life has not been proclaimed.  That I can tell.  Then again, maybe we all o this in many ways.  I chose to think and pray for those close to my friends and myself, we have lost over the past few years and days, and I chose to make these thoughts action by writing some people I was close to on my left forearm as I ran in a local 5K race in remembrance and memorium.

It is important to remember, for so many reasons.  The title I chose for this post is one of the many dictionary definitions for "memories".  The length of time over which recollection extends.  As many of you know, one of the struggles related to my brain injury is trouble recollecting short term memories (anatomy was really difficult five months post accident!)  So, according to this definition, their is a limited time which recollection extends.  This is of course true, and maybe even more true for somebody like me who has trouble recollecting in general.  It is also true because people with brain injuries and short term memory deficits are often depressed and frustrated with life due to these struggles.  That tells you how important memories are.

Memories are extremely relevant too.  Where we have been and what we hold onto can tell us a lot about who we are right now.  It can also tell us where we would like to and not like to go in the future. Memories are like a cities on the map of your story, your life.  They are filled with everything life has to offer, all the ups and downs, all the love and pain, all the trial and tribulations- all the ebb and flow.  So they are not only important and purposeful, but they are monumental in leading us towards the life we would like to live, the destiny Love would have us grasp.

But I would say they are even more.
Memories are the recollection of all five senses combining to make a movie from the past, of a person, of an experience.  They are not just a filling of time and space, but a lived opportunity at making this world better, or somehow OK.  So on memorial day, we can think of the people who made these experiences come to life.  After all, this life is about relationship.  Good or bad, missing, crying, and rejoicing, people make us move, and love leads us to continue, on and on, with memories being the wake in the sea of time.

To all those I have lost, to all whose memory I hold still, joyfully or begrudgingly,
Thank You    
For you have made my life beautiful and filled me to overflowing.  And YOU continue to do this, in spirit and in truth, ALWAYS.

On this memorial day, know that YOU are much more then a "recollection", so much more, but rather our lives are an extension of God (in HIS image), that spans all time, and always rejoices at the memories we hold close.  Memories are celebrations of Life. 

High Horses: Horse Feathers

I have been sleeping on the futon because my bed is covered in laundry.  As I arose into the morning (there are no curtains in this room) my gaze turned to the many pictures and figures around my room.  My thoughts immediately turned to Lauren and the wonderful painting she had made for my birthday this past winter.  Then I looked at the giant CL picture of the Jesus statue in Rio De Janiero and I thought about Ewa, who had introduced me to the beautiful expression of faith in the Communion and Liberation movement.  Then on scanning to the TWLOHA spring tour brochure I thought of the amazing night Brianna, Andy, Alyse and Lauren and I spent hanging with Jamie T and Ryan from Sleeping at Last, Denny and Denny's!  Then I saw the wonderful picture of a "lily? Kristy had given me that arose after my cat passed away... and on and on. 
In the early morning sun, i thought, wow I am blessed to have such experiences and even better friends.  All of these experiences somehow leading up to this one young man that I am, every one adding to the character and life I hold inside me.  This also made me think about Ego.  As someone in the Christian fellowship here at CSC and having just graduated I have influence within a lot of areas and have made a great many friends and acquaintances around town.  But when something amazing happens or somebody asks me for help, it is easy to get excited and say, wow, "look what I can do". 

So upon looking around my room, my conclusion is that alone I can do nearly nothing.  But rather, it is with the experiences, the ideas, the music, the books, the Hope and the promise, all narrated by others and orchestrated by a God who cares more then we'll ever know or understand.  No, it is not me, but rather the presence inside me, that, in some round-about way, is also my own.

Then again, God gives me the reigns on my story.  Within reason of course, but their is the beautiful and majestic realization as a young Christian that Christ makes us move, helps us Love, yet he still allows us to Be.  What Love?  Can we even comprehend this divine paradox?  Everything glorious in the eyes of God, everything orchestrated, yet, everything our own, each DNA strand unique?

My original Hope for this poetic catch phrase, A DARING CORRESPONDENCE, is to find those things that hit your heart; you know what I mean, maybe a friends voice, a song by your favorite band, maybe a chance meeting, or an answered prayer- and see what and why those things strike us and what they mean in the grand story that is our own, or rather, a Story that belongs to and somehow affects ALL people.

I Hope beyond Hope that somehow, God willing, I can be a small part in you realizing you are amazing, that there's a light that never goes out, and it is NEVER too late to begin or pick up where you left off.  This is about faith, Hope and Love, but the greatest of these is Love, THE GREATEST of these is Love. 

For we are nothing and everything in this world; in the same instant of time.  Now that is a beauty to unveil, a Wild heart to live-

"Where had you been?"

Horse Feathers

Living: Pain, Salvation & Love

"Backing away from the problem of pain you never had a home
You've been misguided, you're hiding in shadows for so very long
Don't you believe that you've been deceived?

Pain is a struggle.  Pain hurts and we all experience it.  Some experience it more then others.  At the risk of being called a sadist, I rather like pain.  Let me explain...

Recently I have gotten frustrated at the amount of pain I have heard about.  My heart is heavy for my friends.  Maybe there is always this much pain, maybe I just know more people and care about more situations these days.  But regardless, that doesn't stop me from wanting to run out into the street and start screaming, at God and his angels, the stars and the trees, "Enough.  What is this all about, Stop, just stop"  No more bleeding, no more sadness.

Where is the purpose in all this?  If God is good, how come I feel so broken?

Every human experiences pain.  It manifests itself in a multitude of ways, physical, mental, spiritual and all of those elements pain has at its disposal.  I have experienced a lot of pain the last few years.  But I have overcome much of it.  Yet I don't want to have to go through the pain, at least of those experiences, again.  But I may.  For pain is inevitable, like the sunrise or the new year.  Pain is inevitable, even mandatory to the human experience, but suffering and hopelessness are NOT.

CS Lewis wrote a book called "The problem of Pain".  I have been meaning to read it, but for the purpose of this story, pretend I have.  Lewis goes about proposing the views on pain and supposes a solution in his unique theological, yet scholarly way. 

The existence of suffering in a world created by a good and almighty God—“the problem of pain”—is a fundamental theological dilemma, and perhaps the most serious objection to the Christian religion.- Jacek Bacz

As Lewis notes, pain is a problem.  Yet there is another book I have been meaning to read titled "purpose for the pain", by Renee Yohe.  Renee is the inspiration and story behind To Write Love on Her Arms.  Both these titles and books utilize non-fiction to speak on an inherently universal element in all of humanity, yet one speaks of Pain as a problem, the other as being purposeful or rather having a purpose, some would say purpose driven.
I now lean towards pain on purpose.  I cannot say that all pain will have a happy ending.  But I will say that pain has meaning, always; and that this meaning is of great depth, sometimes we never understand.
But that feeling, even feeling pain, is feeling.  Feelings are a gift, they help us navigate this world.  And feeling something, is better then feeling nothin.  What if this feeling had a purpose, and what if this purpose had a title, and what if somehow your story was building to a climax, and maybe God still has control, and if he doesn't do anything, so far as you can tell, maybe he's putting someone in your life to help you fix things, maybe He already did...
and maybe he wants us to realize we're in this together, that pain is as universal as the stars, and the desire to love and be loved, painful as it may be,
There could be a purpose to this all of this,
and it could be waiting over the next mountain, or the next, or the next,
and your feet, heart, and your eyes, must keep looking to the sky,
step by step, toward the light up ahead,
painful as it may be,



This is the correlation of salvation and love

(Don't drop your arms)
Don't drop your arms, I'll guard your heart
With quiet words I'll lead you in"--

listening:
Anberlin- Unwinding Cable Car, the

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